I understand the point, but not where he's coming from, teachers can be bitches, phonecalls can be important and schooling is expensive. But if you're phoning someone during class you're disrupting the class. If it's important you should ask to leave the classroom to take the call, possibly even warn the teacher beforehand.
I've only ever been kicked out of class twice and both of the times it failed. One time the man threathened to kick me out so I just said "I don't need you to kick me out." and left (but was soon called back, and I came since moral compass). The other time I was kicked out but handled it in much the same way as described in this post. Dude didn't know what to say. I left later though, since I had to catch my buss, I didn't ask for permission, nor did I mention why I was leaving.

So that's why people think people who play D&D don't have girlfriends

My autocorrect is amazingly awesome to the point where I'd allmost believe it if you told me it's sentient

Huh, what is this about?

How do you make texts flowery?

Aha, my girlfriend doesn't like shopping, I win!

I'm really quite sure that's an actually valid and used technique. The smaller contact area means more pressure, also swords usually have their centers of gravity towards the handle around the crossguard. By doing this the "fool" effectively converted his sword (a weapon really quite useless at getting through armor) into a warhammer (which were made specifically for getting through plate). Furthermore, the "fool" was likely supposed to wear gloves (if you've allready made the choice to walk through town with a sword, you might as well bring some gloves as well, much cheaper and lighter, also the dudes are clearly in an arena, so he actively decided to join in battle) against accidentally cutting his fingers (and even if not, getting cuts to your fingers is much preferable to being stabbed to death).
Dude actually know's what he's doing...
Source: I practise H.E.M.A. (Historical European Martial Arts), basically swordfighting.

My girlfriend has insanely small lungs, so I hyperventilate. She suffocates...

I have a girlfriend and I find sleeping and cuddling at night to be really uncomfortable. It's a whole different body with warmth, mass and bones, all of which are uncomfortable. Not to mention their constant urge to move, and never ever be comfy. Nah, best I can do is cuddles before and after, but not during, sleeps

I understand it helps identify two similar looking snakes one of which is poisonous one isn't (used to be really interested into those as a kid) but I the memory helps just seem gibberish to me

Huh, what happened then?

Who's Life?

I used to, though I eventually started to forget, but it's quite okay since she doesn't appreciate the gesture.

Gravity falls has a fourth season?!?!?!

I've got the exact opposite, I try this with my girlfriend to be cute and stuff, she has insanely small lungs and I can feel my body going "Please stop!"

I have lost my girlfriend when she's out of sight and I can't slow my pace to hers... on multiple occasions
Also, short people, how surreal must your life be? just stuck in a maze of taller people's bums?

How did your teacher know this? How did you not hand in a printed version? How cool is your teacher for doing this?
Nah, too many coincidences, can't have happened.

Until recently there was a rumour going around of me and this girl being a couple. It's not just rumours anymore...

I used to enjoy doing that, I stopped when I started hitting my head against doorposts...

As a tall (6'9'') someone who used to list their height on Tinder I can assure you it does not work!
Like, at all...

King George or nothing!