This looks like something Phil from Modern Family would invent. In other words, totally awesome!!

I would hope everyone learns the basics of cooking from their parents.

Ok this got funnier when I said it aloud

She had two. Snoop and Willie had too.

I've taken to pacing on the widow's walk, wringing my hands and lamenting the drowning of my imaginary sailor husband. Is it a phase?

Shit, can you do a recarve? I blinked.

What's in your mouth

Wow, this surely speaks to my mopey 13 year old.

Or avoided his prophesied doom

My heart hurts from the cute

If the years are correct then the first 2 are of Claudius and the rest are Nero. They all had their issues but Nero is among the most notorious in terms of megalomania, tyranny and cruelty.

No. Zeus is saying "why do I NOT fuck everything I touch"

He loved Penelope, he spent 20 years longing for her. I do sometimes wonder if Circe's isle was just around the corner from Ithaca and he just kept putting off continuing his journey

I adore kestrels

Marcia, Marcia, Marcia

But I don't have back breasts. I can offer side boob