Yesterday I was telling my mum the dream I had the night before (In which she drugged me so I would miss a girls night, because she thought there would be boys there and she didn't trust me) and she responded with "well I'd hope there'd be boys there, you're sixteen years old!"

God damnit

Seeing that book just after I finished watching 'The Sandlot' for the first time and having zero knowledge in baseball is a little weird

We're all a little in love with T-posey

For me it's more like a crumb pocket

I got really excited at school when I saw a lone pigeon in a crowd of seagulls and I blurted out really fast "look, it's a peagull" with a bright smile

I was at the grocery store today and I saw someone who looked like a teenage version of Dewey!

"Hi, I'm normal."

Some ask why, but the machine asks why not?

There's a cat that has recently been sleeping on our table outside and I've been putting cat biscuits and water for it :) it makes me feel like I still have a pet cat

One of the teachers in our class says this name so he's not swearing

Dan do you want to have another existential crisis? Because that's how you get an existential crisis.

Props to the title

You can never truly escape a screaming child

Obamas uncomfortable face tho