What's his name again. Stuart Edge I just remembered

He looks like that one guy from magic mike but with less hair and less muscle

That's gonna be me tonight

I don't even play fortnite but I do think some of the characters look great so I wouldn't mind seeing anyone dress up as them

I don't care about the exhaustpipe being a lie I just want that car so bad. The 3005 is basically my dreamcar at the moment, slightly bigger and heavier than the 2008 but not as expensive in insurance as the 5008. And it now so happens that the peugeot dealer I drive by 4 times a day has just put a GREEN 3008 on display and I have to drive by my dreamcar in an amazing colour on a daily basis.

I need some elaborate details on this.

I had my car broken into a they "gave" me a cd. Therefore I could conclude that they are assholes and have a bad taste in music.

No your dog is just very submissive and not at her place at all

He probably had something to even it out. Like 20.000 hamsters on treadmills or solar panels.

I have these on my desk right now. I like to joke with the customers about it because they're always like ahh that's cute

My grandmother has those exact same glasses as the ones in the background and she's had them for at least 18 years

Wait for my next paycheck and then add the 0 on my bank account

It seems as if the cat has not read the sign

That would probably tha moment my phone decides to tell me what apps are using battery while inactive

This goes both ways around. If I'm dating a guy I want him to at least understand my parents when they don't know their words. Also if we would happen to have children you bet your ass they're gonna get raised bilingual

This. I do clean the house in my own private time and don't you dare try to get me to "help" you with them because I know how that will end.

Well you can't say they didn't warn ya

Fun story. When my sisters dog had puppies there was one guy who was bigger and faster from the start. Jack was the first to open his eyes, he had the strongest character qnd had probably the best nipple to suck on since he was always the biggest. Now being the biggest he was also the first one to climb out of their nest way before the others. The moment we found out about this was when I came downstairs one morning after a rough emergency service night and greated the cats, then the dogs and then the tail waddling pup that was way to proud of himself. So naturally I was pretty hopefull it was just a happy little accident from his side so I put him back with the others turn to make breakfast and he's allready at my feet again. And since it was sunday the only thing I had to keep him contained was rabbit fencing plates.
Long story short: Jack Daniels learned to climb out of their box way too early and I had to put rabbit fencing panels in my living room to keep me from stepping on him