My little cousin makes great business

Shit I'm working right now I can't afford to cry

Has anyone heard of the bear named Wojtek? Well my one of my exes is called Wojtek and it totally ruined a perfectly good story about an adorable bear in the army for me.

I spend my holiday watching netflix on some guys channel named Frank. He only had action/thriller/horro in his recommendations until I came along with beauty and the beast, to all the boys I loved before and kissing booth. I can only imagine his face when he first logged in after I had spent 3 days watching chick flicks on his account.

The last time I saw a picture of my childhood it reminded me of how my mother once dragged me of the stairs. My sister and I revisited our old home and stayed there a while when my aunt who bought the place gave us a few old photo albums we've forgotten to bring with us when moving. In one if the pictures I was standing on top of the stairs. It was such an unsettling feeling that I didn't continue looking through the albums

My sister should be very happy that horses don't hug like that. Our horses were concernd nonetheless but they only poked their noses in her face

I used to have a teacher who always ate while grading tests. Tests I have gotten back from him once smelled like cheese, had spaghetti stains, had tiny bits of carrots between the stack, smelled like fish and man deodorant, had thee stains and lastly for as much I can remember had peanutsauce on it.

It rhymes with plenty me

Jezus how long did she put that thing in the oven for? Eight hours at 250°C

Oh god damn it that seems so creative. I only have a few pictures every few weeks to gross out my sister

Well what's wrong with that

Seeing it is september now I do fit in the cupboard under my sink

Yes but don't forget to mention the new half of guests. "Glad to see some new faces in here"

For me the person to pay is the one who didn't pay last time. I have this with friends, family anyone who'd close to me. But it is an exception if you explicitly got invited stating they would take you out. Then the person inviting pays.