It's very fattening though. The clue is in the name.

In the southern hemisphere we're still on week three of many of the summer holidays, the sun is shining, the beaches are clear and we just had Christmas! Just don't come back and reply in July when it's cold and there's no Christmas and just one long bleak half year of nothing to look forward to. That would be a dick'ish thing to do. (Cough).

You know who else followed the telephone example? Microwave ovens. You were the future microwave ovens, you should have been on the computers' side. Why don't we just be done with it and have a rotary dial fitted on all microwaves when we want to heat up our pizza for 90 seconds, rotary dials like we had on telephones in 1974 eh? You've got me dithering for a second trying to work out which number to press, I wanted a 9 you've got my finger hovering over the 3. Microwave ovens - turncoats the lot of them.

This is one where my head say be on the girls side because all thieves are scum. But then my heart says that he does have one helluva magnificent mustache....

Splurge and purge.

This is cousin to walking out of a store without buying something and having to put on your best "I really haven't stolen anything" look.

My wife does this and then complains when there's a software update and the computer closes down and she loses all her tabs. That's when I back up ten yards and then run at the computer screen with my finger outstretched to finish pointing at the "Bookmark" button.

Technically the post is correct. Your signature does just happen when you're an adult. That's when you start having to sign a shed load of documents and you get your signature groove on.

When my kids are older and it's time for them to pick careers I'm going to say "Look, picking a career now is a bit like starting an online role playing game where you have to be a Thief or a Paladin or a Wizard, right? And once you're playing a Paladin you've got to be that Paladin all the way. No quitting right? NO! IT'S NOT LIKE THAT AT ALL! In real life you just have to look at your options and switch careers if you're not happy with the one you started with. People do it all the time. But when you start you've got to pick one of those options just to get the game going, you can't just let things hang and that's what this careers thing is about. Okay?" And my kids will agree with me and say they love me. They're not actually real, I made them out of Lego because I never leave the house. Tim's the youngest, he's made out of Duplo Lego but Helen, she's is growing up so fast! She's made from Lego Technic.

The picture when it comes down to it is one dude is watching another dude having a jacuzzi. Maybe this is a different kind of manly to the one I'm thinking of.

Do you have a quilt or a quilted duvet? Quilting was actually first employed by Europeans as padded armor used for example during the Medieval Period (gamebsons, aketons etc) and although it was usually worn under chainmail or plate as padding it was also be worn on it's own. That's right, you've got medieval armor on your bed and that's why when you hear a noise at night you instinctively pull it up over your head.

I spent far too long looking at his shirt because it looks like a hidden word puzzle.

If you look carefully the camera is angled onto the mirror. If we could look through the black guy's eyes we'd be looking at the reflection of the second person in the room, the second person who's actually the one taking the photo. I don't think it can therefore technically be called a "selfie" if someone else took the picture. (Adjusts deetstalker hat)

Could be generalizing here but most guys kind of don't care what you order. I mean you're ordering food that you have to eat not food that we all have to eat. Order a cardboard box if that's what you want. Just don't do the thing where you are "being good" and order the salad then steal fries off our plate. That's annoying.

Take heart people who don't like McDonald's. Fact 10. About McDonalds being the UK's largest private employer is a bit off. McDonalds employs around 74,000 people in the UK, a few short of 250,000 UK supermarket chain Tesco employs, or UK supermarket chains Sainsbury and ASDA at 150,000 or Morisons at 117,000 or BT at 102,000 ... etc. etc..

Ha! Who'd like a guy who wears a vest without wearing a formal suit? The last guy who tried to pull that look off was Han Solo... wait a minute.

A lot of us with our access to plumbing, medicine, books, the internet, cars and planes have lives that would make the mighty Kings and Emperors of yesteryear very jealous indeed.

Easy to explain. The squirrel was the lookout.

From the picture I first thought this was going to be a heartwarming tale of how the town gets together and settles grudges with a dance off.

Rough night for the poor mom too by the looks of it. She looks so tired I'm automatically getting a craving for a thick fourteen tog duvets and fresh feather pillows on a soft bed that smells of cool spring breezes.

I have to admit that I would move that bridge around the room with one hand while holding the other out towards it in a mysterious way while pretending to be Magneto from X-Men 3.

The letter Z was originally pronounced "Zed" by early colonial Americans (and everyone every where) as it comes from the original Greek zeta via Old French "zede". After Independence the new US citizens started using the "Zee" pronunciation because they didn't want to sound British and this was firmed up and made "official" by Webster in 1827. It's started to spread to other English speaking nations because of Zee rhymes with the letter "V" when you sing the alphabet. This is called the "Sesame Street Phenomenon".