I'm going to end all my e-mails today with "and done a HILTER!" just because.

This reminds me off ... Michael Bolton: There *was* nothing wrong with it... until I was about twelve years old and that no-talent ass clown became famous and started winning Grammys. Samir: Hmm... well, why don't you just go by Mike instead of Michael?
Michael Bolton: No way! Why should I change? He's the one who sucks.

I like that you can see the old road that the bridge replaced still hugging the cliff face.

"He even used clean socks". I like how this is seen as a bonus. Like a lot of dudes he's probably "I actually have some pretty descent personal hygiene standards. I don't even like carrying my dirty socks to the laundry why would I expect you to be okay sitting on my dirty socks? That's gross."

Well all I can say that at long last we've got something that's a bit off about Tom Cruise.

That's messed up on more than one level.

It's Chaos Defrosting named after Chaos where no one knows what's going on. Microwave oven manufacturers found that defrosting stuff by giving them random bursts of microwaves as opposed to a steady stream of energy defrosted frozen stuff quicker and better. So that's what it means if you've got a Chaos button on your microwave.

She's in her late fifties or early sixties now. She could be someone's grandma.

Why not do both? Win, win.

Arguing about whether a book is better on an e-reader or in paper format is like having an excellent meal and arguing about the shape of the plate the meal was served on.

Steady on there, the punishment wasn't death. You got fined or sent to prison for a week. There's a short article on why, where and how this came about here http://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-14374296

I think the studios are a bit wary of doing a female led super hero film at the moment due to how the Elektra and Catwoman films worked out. Just need one good one though to break things wide open.

Is no one going to mention that this map is on some ceramic tiles stuck to the wall in the kids house? This must be the junior version of the massive world domination map that's in the evil guy's volcano base in Bond films.

But what if that person was on a plane on the other side of the world, the plane developed a fault, there's a lot of bad engine noise and it doesn't look good, so they're scared and they think they're going to die and they're thinking of you, their love and are now less scared about dying and more scared that they'll die without telling you one last time that you're the one, the one person who makes them, the one person who they put before than themselves because you are their love and in this terrible moment of clarity they realize that this is going their last chance to say those three simple words which would have been said every day if you were together but will never be said again because they know they're so very close to death and spending an eternity apart? They turn on their phone to say those three words "I love you"? Still "no"? I get you my wife's like that and do you know what I say? It's your own fault, if you don't want to get disturbed put your phone on silent.

Your dog's aunt and uncle are very talented. Most dogs can just about manage fetching stuff but not many dogs can address and put a package through the mail.

Apparently this middle section of the runway wasn't supposed to be stepped on (you don't say!). The best bit was rather than pop back up she crawled backstage underneath after a photographer went to help her and fell in the hole too.

"What else does a man need?" You can buy silicon rubber versions of these from certain websites so you don't have to deal with the pesky living and breathing actual person attached if that's all you're after.

Is it okay to think bullfighting and graffiti should both be illegal? I'm assuming the pic on the right is some dude doing some graffiti and not just some dude doing some art which of course wouldn't be against the law. I have to say graffiti really blights some of the places I've lived in. How about we kill two birds with one stone and put people who do graffiti against the bulls?

"My waffles is Italian tomato sauce."

This technique is called a Swedish fire torch.

An analysis of the plans provided by Princess Leia has demonstrated a weakness in the battle station. The cake knife. You are required to maneuver straight down this trench and skim the surface to this point where you can cut it even-stevens. A precise hit will start a chain reaction which should result in cake for everyone.

Have you not noticed though that popular fiction favors zombie apocalypses caused by viral infections in the living rather than supernatural raising of the dead? It's your party and all but I reckon a graveyard might be the quietest place to go in such a situation. Not that I haven't planned every detail of my own survival during a fictional zombie apocalypse while trying to drift off to sleep at night, oh no.

The "Let's eat grandpa" one where someone says "apostrophes make you look like an idiot" ... Well the apostrophe in both cases is correct because it can be there to shorten "let us" to "let's" (e.g. without the apostrophe it's Let us eat Grandpa, Let us eat, Grandpa) rather than using "lets" as a permission (which doesn't need the apostrophe) which is what I think the person who posted the idiot comment after thought they meant without realizing who now looks like an idiot.