What the heck are those all for? Well this might be a bit of a touchy subject for some readers but if those North Korean dudes were to have ribbons instead of those massive things they'd look a lot like modern US generals. Seriously, Google Image "US World War 2 General" take at look at their awards on their chest then Google Image "US General". It makes the World War 2 dudes look like they sucked! Anyway, ribbons N. Korea, it's the future.

Sometimes you've got to pick the right target. If you want a prank to really work prank up and hit a big company, don't prank down and hit a guy who looks like he's just trying to earn some cash. This just made me feel sorry for the plumber dude.

On average everyone got around 20% of the answers right. Grade curve or not the teacher would be within their rights to say no one here demonstrated that they knew the subject to a high enough standard and so just fail everyone. I think this is perhaps why we've got a picture of someone's answer sheet and not the return results sheet....

Kanye West shouldn't be on any lists that feature the word "cool" anywhere in the title. The guy is a narcissistic douche.

Plot twist: it's totally his mom.

I must be getting the wrong type of oranges. My oranges I have to peel then rip the segments apart with my fat sausage fingers. I would love some pre-sliced oranges.

I'm sure there are easier ways of requesting a full body cavity search without having to jet half way around the world.

If the kids parents are doing it right they would have been primed and thinking about the future for a long time before then right? It starts with the first "What do you want to be when you grow up?" question. How many times do kids get asked that one? I hope no-one enters adulthood like they've just been turfed out of their power pod like it's The Matrix.

Newsflash: girls who are into you don't need an excuse to take their clothes off and bang you. It's not like "Well, I was hot, so I took my clothes off and well, you know, my clothes were off so I had sex with someone I didn't like because of being a bit hot." If it's too hot and they really don't want to do it they will say "It's too hot to do it." Somewhere here this person is missing a big chunk of why his girlfriend is banging him and he thinks it's to do with temperature control. You are an idiot Guest.

White text isn't the problem on Funsubstance. The problem is tiny text that you have to zoom in a million times to read it. It's like text for ants. Think about Steve Buscemi. See Steve Buscemi's face. Read this in his voice; "I will down vote text for ants because it is too small for me to read."

You can eat chocolate coins.

"That's a real nice piece of art Ken. It'd be a shame if, oh I don't know, a couple of kittens were to get in here wouldn't it?"

Sometimes the difference between a bathtub and a boat is where you put the water.

We wanted smaller phones but then they became "pocket sized computers" that have a telephone app on them and we still kid ourselves into thinking they're a phone first.

Funny how this has been tagged NSFW when it's a public warning sign shown on train station platforms the length and breadth of the UK.

Since 1954 the Tour de France has just started from the following places outside of France; 1954 Amsterdam, Netherlands, 1958 Brussels, Belgium, 1965 Cologne, West Germany,1973 Scheveningen, Netherlands, 1975 Charleroi, Belgium, 1978 Leiden, Netherlands, 1980 Frankfurt, West Germany, 1982 Basel, Switzerland, 1987 West Berlin, West Germany, 1989 Luxembourg, 1992 San Sebastián, Spain, 1996 Hertogenbosch, Netherlands, 1998 Dublin, Republic of Ireland, 2002 Luxembourg, 2004 Liège, Belgium, 2007 London, United Kingdom, 2009 Monte Carlo, Monaco, 2010 Rotterdam, Netherlands, 2012 Liège, Belgium, 2014 Leeds, United Kingdom. The reason? It promotes the race outside France, generates sponsorship and keeps the race interesting for the competitors.

You have miscalculated how little money I have to count.

We have a lot of mice and rats where we live. Sometimes they even get into the roof space where you can hear them scratching around above your bed when you're trying to get some sleep. That can be about as fun as it sounds. The mice and rats also poop and wee everywhere they go spreading disease. Our cat is a working cat. He kills the rats and mice without us needing to put poison into the food chain and it's a role cats have had for hundred, if not thousands of years. Some folks seem to think you've got to be a dog person or a cat person when both domesticated animals had their own useful place in human development and cats can still have a useful role to play even today.

Teacher: Exactly, it's a colloquial irregularity and as I'm a teacher it's my actual job to teach you formal grammar. Naturally this may come across at times as being pedantic. Now if you want to argue about who's actually being pretentious let us review your little speech again...

I wonder how long the air lasts before people inside start to pass out.

Britain: Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, HAAAA! After two hundred and forty one years Boston Tea Party jokes never, ever get old! Because they dumped the tea in the harbor and Britain drinks a lot of tea!
America: I know right! Comedy GOLD!
Me: I'm thinking I'd be happy with not seeing a Boston Tea Party "joke" for a while ...