What have hoes got to do with anything? Why do you have to bring yourself into this?

Speak for yourself

I'm not fussy
Any human contact at this point is enjoyable

Well, er, a friend told me about the flavour

...I normally wait until the second or third date to end my date partner

Don't call me that name ya gawpsheet

It's a date

Who you calling a dingbat you dinlow

I'm game to go as far as you're comfortable with; no further

Humans apparently taste similar to pork, but it's not recommended
Can have long-term health consequences apparently

I mean, it's more a case of what kinks we *don't* have
That's a shorter list

Yeah but that's the bit she enjoys the most

She does a lot of stuff out of pity for me

How kind

Varnie's in a savage mood today

Noted

No?

Like you stole my memes, my time, and my heart

Oops, I dropped the soap

It's enough to buy a real woman in Vietnam

Wait, women have flaws?
I've just wasted £3,000 then...