Seriously you guys, I’m not a bot

— Carl Report User
"I'm sorry, where can I find classroom 7B?" "I have a boyfriend." 11 comments
carl · 1 week ago
If you can tell that they’re interested in you and you tell them off they insist they were just being nice. If you don’t say anything until they actually make a move they call you a bitch for leading them on. There’s just no way to win.
Seinfeld did it first? 10 comments
carl · 3 weeks ago
Yeah...we know, but it’s not official. Plus they’re probably just going to “refund it” in a different way to make the protestors happy.
Seinfeld did it first? 10 comments
carl · 3 weeks ago
The people calling for the police to be defunded are either a minority or aren’t even living in Minneapolis. As someone who lives there...please don’t.
Truth hurts 22 comments
carl · 9 weeks ago
Technically we are three months away from being millionaires. The secret ingredient is crime!
My waifu is a dictator 5 comments
carl · 9 weeks ago
I’m not a bot, I just never comment and shitpost all the time
/ourvirus/ 5 comments
carl · 10 weeks ago
Can someone get a link for this?
Requiem for a Dream 3 comments
carl · 10 weeks ago
This scene ruined my life, not even gonna lie
My weeb ass when I hear the pope is touring Asia 9 comments
carl · 10 weeks ago
Probably because the crusades
This picture reeks of piss and mountain dew 4 comments
carl · 11 weeks ago
Link? I’ve seen the video but I didn’t know they got child abuse charges
Think before you judge 2 comments
carl · 12 weeks ago
At some stores they’re letting employees wear their normal clothes instead because they’re so busy they don’t have time for all of the questions people have been asking them
We’re all gonna die -CNN 14 comments
carl · 12 weeks ago
I don’t know, I’d say it’s still pretty accurate. But the comments didn’t age well...
· Edited 12 weeks ago
Some people 5 comments
carl · 13 weeks ago
And then the whole store clapped
Zeus didn’t care about gender 4 comments
carl · 23 weeks ago
And burned down two cities for being too gay, an absolute mad lad
So the pope gets to decided what is and what is not a sin. 2 comments
carl · 23 weeks ago
Just FYI, he didn’t say that, he said we shouldn’t excessively shame people who masturbate, which is very different.
Assaulting a kid 8 comments
carl · 24 weeks ago
This happens a lot at schools, and the perpetrator is usually just one kid with serious mental health issues. Which makes it hard since the kid is usually already medicated, but still hurting other kids, so it’s not like you can just remove that kid and put them alone. It’s a weird problem.
A Map of Us 94 comments
carl · 41 weeks ago
Put me up in the middle of Minnesota
Dude, how many of those are you getting? 2 comments
carl · 42 weeks ago
What a “rip off”
RIP (literally) 5 comments
carl · 43 weeks ago
Not so good, literally everyone thinks I’m a bot. Probably cause I vanish for weeks then show up with 3,000 new shitposts
Born Deaf 4 comments
carl · 44 weeks ago
Sign language
They can't 4 comments
carl · 46 weeks ago
Revolutionary War pt. 2 10 comments
carl · 48 weeks ago
A perfect way to reclaim the holy land
I'm dying 5 comments
carl · 49 weeks ago
But I can’t wait that long
Facts 38 comments
carl · 50 weeks ago
Awww thanks, I appreciate that, however I’m actually a girl, I’m just a big fan of the old Llamas with hats vids, but I like compliments too.
In the name of god! 3 comments
carl · 50 weeks ago
there’s no aliens down there fam whose cheeks are you gonna clap
Twitter these days 20 comments
carl · 51 weeks ago · Edited 51 weeks ago