... talking about feelings may not make everyone feel better, and it may not always provide a functional solution directly- however it can help us to understand the root cause of our emotional state, which can help us to find what it is that we need to do in order to feel better or change things. In fact, many times the problem is we know what to do but it is hard or we just can’t seem to actually do it. As unhelpful as it is to say so simply- we just have to do it. Start by thinking objectively and talking to others to avoid a bias perspective. When we are in a bad mood our thoughts tend to be negative or self destructive and we often fail to see the whole picture and subscribe to a bleak interpretation of things which doesn’t help us. By breaking large tasks down into small steps, and by looking at long term changes or commitments...

.... as smaller ones like each day or hour or week, we can make them less intimidating. It’s easier to commit to and achieve a single actionable item than a sweeping change. Commit, complete, repeat. Things sometimes work themselves out, but we generally help our odds of success significantly by doing whatever is in our power to improve our circumstances. Sometimes we don’t have direct ability to improve an aspect of our lives we are unhappy with, but constructive improvements in other areas not only can give us something to focus on that is positive, but can improve our overall quality of life. This creates a “halo” in which as we improve aspects of our lives, certain other aspects tend to improve and more opportunities become available to us in many areas of our lives...

.... take for example if one decides to learn a skill. We might meet people in our class who are in a sport or game or other group. We might then go to that group. At that group we might meet someone who works in the field requiring our skill. They may get us a new career. We may make more money, be able to live more comfortably, express our personal style better, and enjoy our hobbies more. Through these things we may meet someone we like. We may start dating and have developed more confidence, more life experience, and have the financial security to make dating easier and less stressful. And so on. It’s one example, but a plausible one. It’s a process. But take it one day at a time and just try to be self aware while making constructive choices that move you in a positive direction. Things are rare to change for the better unless we change for the better ourselves. Best of luck.

Yea... Thanks mialinay. Thanks guest_ - thoughtful advice and I appreciate that very much. I'm okay I think. Well, I'm not really okay, but I'll be alright. I'm not sure I'm ready to talk about things. Not this publicly anyways. Too vulnerable or something I suppose. Incremental steps is good, but often it's more complicated than that.

Don’t fret @jmmcclain. You certainly aren’t expected to bear your woes to the world- but if that ever seems like something that you think would help, there are plenty who would listen. Do what works for you. As you say- it’s never quite so simple- and yet at the same time it is. Paradoxical in a way- we seem to be able to see so clearly when giving others advice and yet none among us can claim to have a life without challenges. Life will never be as simple as we likely wish it were, but I think you’re dead on when you say you’ll be alright. Just gotta weather the storm as best you can until it passes.

We're here whenever you need us, if it's every moment a day we're here and if you sort things out and don't come back for a while we're still gonna be there!
I understand and share the feeling too. When you laugh you forget your worries for a blink, and here you can have positive social interactions without the draining drama. Plus you get insightful advice/point of views like guest_'s above, that people involved with you irl probably wouldn't give you ("probably" because when you gather the courage to be honest and open up, you can talk about feelings irl. That's just harder).
Anyways I probably suck at expressing support but I feel you and I'm sending you a virtual hug and cake.

Thank you! Hugs back. Mmm cake. Walks off all sassy - cake in one arm and hug in the other :)

Errgh..I'm not a big fan of people

It gets like that sometimes but I wouldn't call it a bad thing. If looking at memes and chatting to people helps you in someway then FunSub is your form of happiness and escape, just like nature or gaming or drawing is for someone else. It's good you're aware of your habits and how each one might be signalling to you that you're not okay. When that happens we're here for you like everyone has said, whether that be through an actual conversation or just knowing when you laugh at a meme someone else on here is probably laughing too. Take your time and do what you think is best for you.

Thank you. I'm not really sure what/how to talk about really. Many different things going on. So just expressing my current hatred for humankind. What a bunch a jerks (not parisqeen lol). It's nice to have escape mechanisms

Can't sleep

Same... I am here ignoring my rude negative spouse

You two alright?
What's up with your spouse @turn_down_for_now? I know this is kind of some basic advice but if you two aren't getting along you should talk about it (not argue. talk), you're never gonna know what's going on in their head if you don't talk to them

@parisqueen firs of all thank you for your concern... I am struggling with depression and anxiety. My spouse just doesn't understand what I am dealing with. He just thinks telling me to lose weight will heal me...

Ah. That sounds all too familiar and it is one of the worst feelings, not just being misunderstood but being misunderstood by someone you love and who is is meant to love you. It's even worse that he's telling you to lose weight because that is the complete opposite of helpful. Unfortunately it's really difficult for some people to understand mental illness, especially depression as it's not something easily explained without experiencing it because it isn't "just sadness" and anxiety isn't "just being worried". To me, your spouse sounds afraid. When you don't understand something or it just sounds too weird and depressing it's easier just to ignore it, be afraid of it or to believe your view on it is the only correct one. I'm gonna get straight to the point and say I think you need to go to your therapist (if you have one) and bring your spouse, when a professional explains something it's easier to believe and you're more willing to listen. Your spouse needs to first understand your

situation before they can acknowledge their actions aren’t helping and then be shown ways that will actually help. On the outside depression can be really frustrating because it looks like the person with depression is just lazy and not willing to try and “fix” themselves. Maybe print out some articles or buy some books and ask politely for him to read them so he can become better educated on the subject and if he doesn’t understand, try and calmly explain to him what it’s like. Try and be blunt if you can, state “this is what will help me” and “this is not helping me” and try and compromise. Your situation sounds really tough and I’m sorry you’re dealing with that and a difficult spouse. Always here for you if you need support.

drugs are bad mm'kay.

Oh, this site is more addictive than most drugs.

The vice versa is kind of true too. I have been engaged in exams, projects, my girlfriend and stuff. I am going out to places with my girl, meeting her friends, etc.
The point being, the more okay I am doing with my social life, the less time I am getting for FS. It's not like I don't browse/lurk. I am not that active anymore. I do need FS, I want to talk to people, but I am way too busy.

Things and stuff and stuff.. and stuff and things. Fuck! Yelling in message format is just not satisfying