I am one of the daily active users but I made this account just to take something off my chest cause it's kinda sad, don't wanna waste anyones times so please just ignore if busy

What's up?

I feel just utterly horrible, I couldn't sleep for some days cause of a recurring nightmare and as a cherry on top some other thing happened that ruined me, I feel like I'm worthless and that I'm just a burden on everyone, I want to cry and screen but irony is my eyes are so dry it hurts and I don't even cry, I feel like no matter how much I try I just cant

I don't have anyone that I can rely on, and the ones that are there I can't open up for certain reasons I've stopped eating and I can't eat even tho I used to eat 3 times the amount a normal person eats

I'm not suicidal or anything so if someone does read this do not be alarmed

I had someone really amazing in our family..who died years ago saying I'll be the best our family has every seen and now that I've grown up everyone just looks at me knowing I'm a failure.

I dunno why this hurts so bad...I maybe depressed but it's never been this crappy

I love you all though

That sucks, man
What was the recurring nightmare?

Some people are doing some ritual in my bed room and in the next second I'm in my room with something scarry that spawned from that ritual

Which is really horrible looking and the whole room has this scary red light...that thing always kills me and I wake up vibrating with goosebumps

I can't say everything I want to quickly but I'll do my best. Firstly? How long did it take and how many people responded to you when you posted this chat?

I'm back. Secondly, you need to change your focus from what others may or may not think of you to what do you think of yourself.

The only part I can relate to is the eating one. Even if you’re not eating keep yourself hydrated. Force yourself to eat food that slight on your stomach. No matter what your brain is telling you and how uncomfortable you are about the food at least take a nibble. I had those moment where food was not on my head but I forced myself to eat so I won’t starve, it sucks having you’re stomach rumbling and feeling ill because you’re not eating. Please eat

I've also had periods like this (back then food was just like... wood or something, I really didn't feel like consuming it at all). I'd say eat whatever you feel like eating, to get the habit back. Even if it's just a bar of chocolate, that's cool. Maybe you don't feel worth "spending" food on but that's wrong.
Second of all, maybe try to pinpoint why you feel like you're a failure. Is it because you've don't eat? Gandhi did that at some point. Because you feel like you didn't live to expectations? Are these yours or someone else's that were imprinted on you? Do they actually matter to you? And you don't sound very old, if they do matter you can still meet them.
Also, I get how you can feel like a zero on a scale but don't forget this scale goes into the negatives as well. Even now if you feel at your lowest, you're still better than a lot of people: from what you said, you're not killing or attacking anyone, you're not hurting anyone but yourself, you're not bad, just exhausted.

I suck at comforting people but bottom line is: don't treat yourself like a burden. You're not. The "bad voice" even said we were going to not be bothered to read this, yet we are there, concerned and ready to listen. Don't listen to it. Focus on taking care of your body for now, even if you have no motivation to eat or shower, just nibble on stuff, use baby wipes like once a week, and remember 1% is exponentially better than 0. Take naps whenever you feel like it, to get the sleep the nightmares are stealing from you. Maybe fight magic with magic and make a protection spell in your room, sometimes it's the stupidest things that work.

*gives soft mlems and purrs of affection*
You are loved and not a waste of our time. Regardless of who you are as fs user.