C'mon fellas... The ONE thing we ALL universally like? Wouldn't the most obvious answer be.. women?

Inmate's food is far from free. The saddest reality of it is that once the facility is developed at the cost of the tax payers, it is handed over to a privatized company/owner who, in turn, creates a system that not only milks the federal and local municipalities out of obligatory stipends for each individual detainee; but, ALSO gets to charge/penalize those same exact individuals, as well as their families. They are 'legally' required to give you your daily allotment of slop and medical assistance, regardless of your ability to pay; however, these amenities are far from the satisfactory scale we would hold professionals to outside of the system. I was never a fan of school food, but I can assure you from personal experience that it is 100% better than jail food. I can only assume those that relate to this have never been incarcerated or had loved ones that have. It's one of the most fucked up experiences a person can endure.

Besides the brown-eyed sphincter-squirt staring at me, I'm a li'l bit reassured that I'm not the only one that has 0% faith in my "nonstick" pans and uses parchment paper for baking. No matter how misshapen my brownies are because of it, they are divorce-your-momma-fire-af.

Nobody:
FunSubstance: I feel personally called out by this.

I will sort'f miss Anatomy Grimace. It's all I've had to look at for so long, it's all I know now.

Left is love, right is spite.

Ordering "without seasoning" in most chain-restaurants accomplishes the same effect, be it fries or burgers or whatnot. Makes 'em cook it fresh, because it's uncommon enough not to preemptively prepare. I always exclude condiments on my order so I can put them on myself in the proper ratios. That and I'm a bit paranoid, and it makes it easier to hyperexamine my food before I eat it.

"You've heard of elf on a shelf, well get ready for a mexican restaurant in a few years."
I just gotta build it first, I reck'n. That's too long to wait for tacos!

Don't knock it 'til you try it. *pitch of voice increases with every word* Double your fingers, and uh double your fun? Hm? Little bit of the ol' slap and tickle? *cringy boy soprano at this point* Curious what else he uh, has an extra of?

"Well folks, Momma's wronnnng again."
- The Waterboy (1998)

I'm on the naughty list because I don't know what I want but I'm still a bit confused with my true feelings about it but it seems like a good idea for a girlfriend to do something that is really a bad idea for you.

^Has no social media... or social life? Only know it from context, and I still couldn't tell you wtftitisa JoJo? Should I be embarrassed or proud? Isn't JoJo the pink guy, sadboi acidrapper? Or is it a show I'm missing? IDK. UPisDOWNlaughCRYlaughCRY, what's the difference.

Although a side effect of certain drugs, not caused by a drug specifically. I can hit points like that on random days at random times... Albeit I guess I'm never, for any extended length, under the influence of the worst drug of all: sobriety. Wish we could bottle that shit. The ambewhatchacallit, not the sobriety.

Dealing with police is kind'f like dealing with a hot pan. There's usually only one way to handle them without any risk, and without any party involved becoming nervous. There are alternative ways, but generally a good rule of thumb is not to antagonize your pans. Things could easily 'fly off the handle', and fuck up just about everything around. Pick your battles, and -never- incriminate or implicate yourself in -anything-, be it jokingly, or in anger, or not. Your words can very much be used against you in this, our criminal system. That being said, there is also no need to excessively fear your, uh, pans. They exist only, and were made by our hands; and, by our hands can be unmade. 1-16-1-2! APAB!

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me: a lot more concerned about the world..
=S