Cloudgatherer

cloudgatherer


"One of God's own prototypes. Some sort of high-powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, too rare to die."

— Cloudgatherer Report User
A nice treat after a successful colonoscopy 4 comments
cloudgatherer · 26 weeks ago
Besides the brown-eyed sphincter-squirt staring at me, I'm a li'l bit reassured that I'm not the only one that has 0% faith in my "nonstick" pans and uses parchment paper for baking. No matter how misshapen my brownies are because of it, they are divorce-your-momma-fire-af.
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Enlarged version of the X 2 comments
cloudgatherer · 26 weeks ago
Nobody:
FunSubstance: I feel personally called out by this.
3
The terrifying anatomy of Grimace 14 comments
cloudgatherer · 26 weeks ago
I will sort'f miss Anatomy Grimace. It's all I've had to look at for so long, it's all I know now.
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Needs peer review 2 comments
cloudgatherer · 27 weeks ago
Left is love, right is spite.
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The terrifying anatomy of Grimace 14 comments
cloudgatherer · 28 weeks ago
French-fried, my friend. Which is your brain on drugs, except with a baret and a baguette.
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Weak should fear the strong 5 comments
cloudgatherer · 28 weeks ago
Ordering "without seasoning" in most chain-restaurants accomplishes the same effect, be it fries or burgers or whatnot. Makes 'em cook it fresh, because it's uncommon enough not to preemptively prepare. I always exclude condiments on my order so I can put them on myself in the proper ratios. That and I'm a bit paranoid, and it makes it easier to hyperexamine my food before I eat it.
3
You've Heard of Elf on a Shelf Predictive Text Game 29 comments
cloudgatherer · 28 weeks ago
... Out of respect, I'ma take the high road on that one.. Besides.. I'm no linguist.. Maybe head doesn't translate universally? Oh boy, that low road is tempting, though. *twitches*
3
You've Heard of Elf on a Shelf Predictive Text Game 29 comments
cloudgatherer · 28 weeks ago
"You've heard of elf on a shelf, well get ready for a mexican restaurant in a few years."
I just gotta build it first, I reck'n. That's too long to wait for tacos!
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Gross 3 comments
cloudgatherer · 29 weeks ago
Don't knock it 'til you try it. *pitch of voice increases with every word* Double your fingers, and uh double your fun? Hm? Little bit of the ol' slap and tickle? *cringy boy soprano at this point* Curious what else he uh, has an extra of?
2
Where are you. And I'm so sorry 2 comments
cloudgatherer · 29 weeks ago
"Well folks, Momma's wronnnng again."
- The Waterboy (1998)
2 · Edited 29 weeks ago
I'm on the Naughty List Because Predictive Text Game 46 comments
cloudgatherer · 29 weeks ago
I'm on the naughty list because I don't know what I want but I'm still a bit confused with my true feelings about it but it seems like a good idea for a girlfriend to do something that is really a bad idea for you.
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Geezer in a freezer 11 comments
cloudgatherer · 29 weeks ago
Ceasar in a freezer
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Ayayayay 7 comments
cloudgatherer · 29 weeks ago
Okay, but what is it? I wasn't hating, I genuinely have no idea, and at this point I refuse to Google it, lol. Is it... an anime?
Ayayayay 7 comments
cloudgatherer · 29 weeks ago
Or it's something gay, right? Or like some kind'f fucked up hentai furry whoosewhatsit, that's completely missing my radar? F'real confused, y'all.
Ayayayay 7 comments
cloudgatherer · 29 weeks ago
^Has no social media... or social life? Only know it from context, and I still couldn't tell you wtftitisa JoJo? Should I be embarrassed or proud? Isn't JoJo the pink guy, sadboi acidrapper? Or is it a show I'm missing? IDK. UPisDOWNlaughCRYlaughCRY, what's the difference.
On the first day of predictive text my true love gave to me 48 comments
cloudgatherer · 29 weeks ago
Whew. I've tried it a couple different ways.. The abyss only gets deeper. I'm not entirely sure why my autocorrect is so nemo [sic] and monotonous.. or it's obsession with cars, but, uhh.. Sometimes we should be careful where we look. Might just see what we're trying to find.. o_o'
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Ambiguous libido 2 comments
cloudgatherer · 29 weeks ago
Although a side effect of certain drugs, not caused by a drug specifically. I can hit points like that on random days at random times... Albeit I guess I'm never, for any extended length, under the influence of the worst drug of all: sobriety. Wish we could bottle that shit. The ambewhatchacallit, not the sobriety.
1
Some spicy OC 15 comments
cloudgatherer · 29 weeks ago
Dealing with police is kind'f like dealing with a hot pan. There's usually only one way to handle them without any risk, and without any party involved becoming nervous. There are alternative ways, but generally a good rule of thumb is not to antagonize your pans. Things could easily 'fly off the handle', and fuck up just about everything around. Pick your battles, and -never- incriminate or implicate yourself in -anything-, be it jokingly, or in anger, or not. Your words can very much be used against you in this, our criminal system. That being said, there is also no need to excessively fear your, uh, pans. They exist only, and were made by our hands; and, by our hands can be unmade. 1-16-1-2! APAB!
On the first day of predictive text my true love gave to me 48 comments
cloudgatherer · 29 weeks ago
The second time I tried, it went off the rails quick, and got dark.. o-o
On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: I had to take my own life in a car and then the car would have been on my side of my life for a few months now but it is still very hard hat..
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On the first day of predictive text my true love gave to me 48 comments
cloudgatherer · 29 weeks ago
On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me: a lot more concerned about the world..
=S
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It's difficult, tricky, but you can do it 17 comments
cloudgatherer · 29 weeks ago
What would we ever do without such a letter. My head twirls with thought; pray, tell of such better.
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It's difficult, tricky, but you can do it 17 comments
cloudgatherer · 29 weeks ago
It might be an unique event; but a certainty within the universe.
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It's difficult, tricky, but you can do it 17 comments
cloudgatherer · 29 weeks ago
What would a scholar do in this situation? That's a confusing, profound and thorough conundrum.
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Inequality Santa 8 comments
cloudgatherer · 29 weeks ago
This is why I think larger/more expensive gifts should be addressed from parents, not Santa. It creates a pretty shitty dynamic for underpriveledged families otherwise. Kind'f a terrible feeling going to school and all of your peers are like: "Santa got me a PS5!" or "I got a Go-Cart from Santa!"..
Meanwhile the kid with the poor/struggling family: "Santa got me socks.." =(
5 · Edited 29 weeks ago
Based 3 comments
cloudgatherer · 30 weeks ago
"English only at the table... I'm sure you're just talking about perogies and snow and shit, but let's cut it out, all right?"
Bonus points if anyone knows the reference.