Comments

Yeah, I'm childless and occasionally get days off from work.

idk, twenty years ago I went outside a lot more. also my grandmother was still alive. and i didn't have to pay bills.

I only immediately make my bed to prevent my cat from peeing in it. She's got a thing for blanket piles.

Nope. The last time I went to the beach I barely left the water for the 8 hours that I was there. Just bobbed in the waves like an albino manatee.

Condoms would have been cheaper.

My exgirlfired had a Yorkie and I loved him more than I ever loved her

Mine is Ann. Just plain, boring Ann.

Monkey Song...

We want flowers not out of obligation but out of genuine feeling.

Armilla. My name is Miranda. I don't think they even tried.

I'm 30, my first pet died over 25 years ago. My dog don't know shit.

I'll let you know when it happens.

I'm not saying that it was right, only that I understand.

...or you can spend $30 and adopt an animal at your local shelter and save a life by doing so.

Eh, dick ain't my favorite but it'll do.

The worst I've ever heard about the bulk of American tourists is that we're loud.

My current job was supposed to be temporary (6 months at most) and I've almost been here 6 years thanks to life happening and this stupid place actually being pretty decent about working with my schedule. Still looking to leave soon though.

Idk what kind of therapist you are, but mine charged 150 an hour and she was always booked up solid.

I'm here to help other people pretend like they give a shit.

My dad bought a set of outdoor furniture marked for around $350. Due to someone's fuck up, he got it for around $3.50. That made his year.

1. Take kid to doctor.
2. Ask doctor about this cool new thing called a vaccine
3. Vaccinate your offspring so they don't suffer and/or die from a preventable disease.
It's really that easy!

Seen this story before. I don't think it's a special train, just a special stop along the route.

Neat!

Well, when you defund public education and things like home ec gets cut what else are people supposed to do?

*works at a call center* *laughs until she cries*

Ah, ye olde youtube. To be fair, Smosh was the least terrible out of the four.

That's great and all but it's a 40 minutes drive to work and I have to go over a mountain at night to do it. I'm not doing that shit on a bike. At best I'll be hit by a redneck with a small dick and a large pickup.

She's old, not dead

I legit did not know that cow's milk was bad for a fawn.

look at his little fangie!

For those who have trouble putting drops in, here's an easy way to do it. Tilt your head back and close your eye, then drip the drop at the corner of your eye and open it. It's the only way I can do my allergy drops.

meow-sekeeping

Yeah, how dare you use available technology for your own convenience.

Some good parenting went into the kid not squishing the kitty.

Fact: people have been garbage since people were a thing.

... yeah, but are they wrong to pick the US first?

The only rule about crying is that, if you have to cry, don't be alarmed if I start crying too. I don't know how to emotion.

You can be both.

off to find a YouTube tutorial I go

Had an extremely vivid dream that I had a baby daughter. Panicked a little when I woke up and couldn't find her. Wasn't right for days.

... Godzilla advancing on Tokyo?

Eh, your body usually only absorbs the amount of vitamin c it needs and will piss out the rest. It'll probably be fine. On the plus side, their risk of scurvy is down 1000%!