As soon as I wake up I drink rum

Nullshit. I need to be up and around for at least an hour before I make mine

I don't even think about it. By the time I'm really awake my bed is made, I'm washed and dressed, and my breakfast is half eaten.

Fake News.

Legend has it....... nearly had a stroke reading the start of that.

Don’t, it traps your sweat and oils in the sheets making them dirty faster and a perfect nesting ground for mites. Let them air out. Best is to hang your blanket but I am lazy so that ain’t happening.

I can't remember the last time I've made my bed. Even when I don't sleep on my couch I just sleep on top of the covers with my chair/couch blanket.

I only immediately make my bed to prevent my cat from peeing in it. She's got a thing for blanket piles.