All I see are things that are high maintenance.

Can I get one of those devices to go?

Better check the food court for 2 hobbits, trying to throw a ring into the deep fryers.

I'd get a straw and drip water on them; all while facing forward, to confuse her.

She's wondering why you're torturing yourself.

I agree that kids should be in front. However, just because someone is fat, doesn't mean they don't have another disability besides just being fat. And if a person does have a disability; it's kind of hard to exercise.

I should have said; that little boy was watching how mommy and daddy kiss.

... The look in the dolphin's eyes..

Normally, yes.
There are a rare few who have a no-shoe policy.

M.A.T.H.= Mental Abuse Towards Humanity.

Uh, to a cop; a donut IS equivalent to meth.

I'm afraid to buy new appliances, because they weren't built to last.....

That's not a chair, that's the boss trying to screw his employees!

Clever little bastard.

I would have to have worn the shirt first. My cat is weird, she won't use a blanket unless it has my scent on it.

For old people.

* literally just did this a moment ago *

Hey, if you like bangin' sticks that's up to you.

Antarctica. Now nobody wins.