*machine makes a ding and I open it up*
How do you feel?

*closes the lid and turns it on*
Here we go!

Aight pumpkin, get in the mermaidinator so you can begin the transformation

On

Then you are no longer a mermaid.
Anyone else?

fuck fock

true...
ok if we can get a woman who's hair covers her boobs then that officially makes her a mermaid and we can use her instead

perfect! now all I need is a gorgeous woman to act as the top half so I can flavour her with chicken and slap a fish tail on her butt

*steals your notes in canadian*

its not?

and the top half?

Already on it! Any preference on how you want the meat to taste? Species of fish used?

*mmmmmmph!*
*falls over*

Bonus tip: if you ever come to a crossroads, place 2 torches on the ground like in 3, in a line pointing to where you came from. It's less pretty but super helpful

*mmmmph mmmph mmmph*

*tries to get free but fails as I keep tangling into a ball of arms*

Pop goes the ewsel!

*cut arms regrow like hydra heads, but so many arms at a time are beginning to tie me up*
I can't move! I'm doomed!

*multiple arms go into the air*
oh no! they just don't care!

*grabs your arm on the way down and attaches it to my hip, adding yet another arm to my arsenal*
you fool; its all arms!
*sword slides out to reveal my body is entirely made of arms holding itself together, as I raise one of my many blades up to knock memesgobrrr out of the way*

thank you! now its time to end this before you gain any allies!
*swings for your head*