My father's most popular dating advice

I'm going to teach my future son this one day thank you!

If you compare your girlfriend to an animal, you're going to have a bad time!

That awkward moment when you read 'licking' and not 'picking' -_-

And please, rescue a girlfriend from a shelter. Don't buy one from one of those disreputable, out of state girlfriend mills.

I picked my puppy based on compatability, he slept all day and so do I. Now he's 4 and he is still chill, but also gets really excited when he sees me and when we are going for a walk

Insinuating that you always have a pick of the litter. That is not how love works boy!