Eye m*sturbation

Why are we staring out masturbation?

Then you remember you're wearing makeup and oh fuck

Then you end up screwing up with your contact lens inside your eye

I really thought I was the only one.

What about sneezing? I read somewhere that in some weird way it's almost orgasmic. Probably why I love to sneeze.

Eye masturbation: The masturbation where if you rub one out, you better call an ambulance.

all the time

What about ear-gasms? When it feels soooo good to clean your ears with a q-tip.