Time-outs are actually a very ineffective method of behaviour guidance. Children are humiliated and often don't have the mental capacity to truly reflect on their actions yet. Instead, it's much better to have a "time-in": an adult stays with the child away from the scene of the problem and together they both calm down and talk about better choices.
If they don't have the mental capacity to truly reflect on their actions yet how are they supposed to talk about better choices? I'm not knocking time-outs or time-ins it's just that there's a truck load of advice for new parents but most of it ends up as being a little bit of this and a little bit of that depending on the child and the situation.
I agree, zombiestitcher. You kinda need both. You need the time out to establish that actions have consequences, i.e., they can't play with toys for a bit and must sit on their own. It's a good break to stop the bad behavior and have a reset. But you also have to have a talk with the child about why they were in timeout, why what they did was wrong, and what they need to do to make it up. Also, a time out must be within a reasonable time limit. Like 5-10 minutes. Child's development, temperament, and personality has to be taken into account as well. Some kids don't care about time outs. Some kids don't care about toys being taken away. Every kid is different. I was a kid who wouldn't stop bitting until I got bit.
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· 9 years ago
The difference is that the adult is the one guiding the talk instead of leaving the child to figure it out. I understand that information can be overwhelming, which is why I'm trying to help you understand. This is what I specialize in. Also please keep in mind that I'm mostly talking about the 0-6 age range.
As for understating consequences, it's better to explain the natural consequences of their actions rather than using artificial shaming methods. For example, "When you bite people it hurts and they won't want to play with you."
Young children are still developing their self-regulation skills, which are the skills that help with attention, controlling own behaviour, and recovering from intense emotions. When young children get very upset, they've had a lapse in self-regulation and need an adult to stay with them to calm down. Leaving a child alone makes the process take a lot longer, and often the child resents it too much to learn from it. Instead, the child will do anything in
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· 9 years ago
her power to regain some control. That's why the child in the bucket shuffled out the door.
That little assistant touch on the side, I spent two minutes trying to move it because I thought it was my assistant touch thing and sat here getting frustrated because I kept scrolling.
As for understating consequences, it's better to explain the natural consequences of their actions rather than using artificial shaming methods. For example, "When you bite people it hurts and they won't want to play with you."
Young children are still developing their self-regulation skills, which are the skills that help with attention, controlling own behaviour, and recovering from intense emotions. When young children get very upset, they've had a lapse in self-regulation and need an adult to stay with them to calm down. Leaving a child alone makes the process take a lot longer, and often the child resents it too much to learn from it. Instead, the child will do anything in