Just do it

at work me and my best friend would always do the hard stuff first, and we would say' do it now for future self!'

Like go to sleep!

Na future self can handle it he's a boss and he can do anything, me I'm too lazy for that stuff.

Do your will (underlined)

I did that today i went and got subway before i got high and the high me was like thank you sober me.

but i dont wanna study

Get a girlfriend.
Oh wait...

I know my future self would really appreciate a nap.

Today, I will eat. Tomorrow, I will be happy, because I can eat some more.

Does wiping my butt after I poo count?

Sorry, I can't. I'm too busy cursing my past self...