Words to live by.

*whispers* I tried... to make peace with a toaster... But the lies. Lies are all they ever tell! It said... That the numbers on the dial... Were MINUTES, not degree of toasted-ness! *wails* *hugs hood*

...but all changed when the Toaster Nation attacked

I used to mushroom, then I took a toaster to the knee

*hugs enigma* don't worry one day we will free ourselves from the evil toaster overlords and on that day we will ride the unitatoes to freedom and eat the glorious sacred ice cream just as the legends foretold

I...I won't be able to *sobs* my best friend was a toaster...I know she's evil but there might be a chance! I can't leave her behind *cries*

NO SHE'S TOO DANGEROUS DON'T GO YOU'LL DIE!!!!

.... But Hood.... Anyone can change, right?
*gags as toast slams into back* *falls to knees* *shakily gets up*
Nope, you were right. *cocks shotgun* Sometoaster's gonna die. *turns around*

Noooooo my best friend! *sobs*

No, our nation will only get stronger. *takes out gun* I'm not sorry I have to do this.

YOU'LL NEVER GET AWAY WITH THIS!!! *pulls out 2 revolvers and opens fire*

*opens fire on toaster*

Stupid, Stupid people. Like uncooked toast, bland and stupid. *closes hologram*
YOU SHALL NEVER WIN!

*ducks the wave of bullets* *stands up* HOW LONG CAN YOU GO WITHOUT SUSTENANCE? *slams hand on big red button* *faint explosion is heard in distance as the toaster's bread supply is nuked*

Hmmph, Fair enough. in exchange for something, but what?
Hmmm, I'm gonna need toast, peanut butter and shrimp. My plan shall activate Tomorrow AT whatever time I'm on.
*Hops into flying microwave and flies off into the dark of the night*

My GODDAMN BREAD! Oh well, it was untoasted anyways. TOASTER, TO THE HQ, NOW!

*opens fire* FRIENDS OR NOT YOURE DEAD TO ME! *shoots* *gets shot*

NOOOO BRAINSANDBEAUTY!!!! *runs over to b&b's body* are you alright! WE NEED A MEDIC!!!!!

I have a 6th aid kit. It's like a hospital in a case

*coughs* I see a white light....is that God? Oh wait it's a flashlight...

*shines flashlight in her face* *pokes*
*pokes once more* *stands up* She'll be fine.

Uh doctor? And the bullet hole? *gestures at hole*

*glances down at bullet wound*
Oh... Well. Never mind that. Happens to the best of us. *gunshots ring out and bullets slam into me* *glances down* Oh look at that. I've been impaled. *grabs first aid kit from yeukaitamia and takes out Rice Krispies* *holds box out to B&B*
Want some?

Um enigma you're bleeding quite a lot are you sure you're ok?

*shovels Rice Krispies into face*

I think we're delirious from blood loss

Okay.... I'm calling a cleric *runs off*

*Takes out the shots*
ok, So the thing in this makes you see rainbows and makes you feeeeeel... Ticklish while we probe- I mean, do the surgery

Um... *takes bandages out of Rice Krispies box and starts binding wounds*
I'm good. Just now.

*Takes out the Bone Drill and Scapel*
no no no no no, lay down on the table

Guys I'm back..... Dude what's with all the directing and alien probing tools??? Anyway cleric do your job. *cleric heals everyone*

*plays with hair* ohh look at the sparkilies lalala *passes out*

Awwww, I wanted to give them the shots! And just see what will happen.

No

*begins dragging B&B away from yeukaitamia and the power tools*
We're good. I'm with Hood on this one. The cleric healed us anyway. Now, we have bigger problems to worry about... *drops B&B and takes out scroll* *unrolls scroll*
Now in accordance with the ancient prophecy: if a duck is shot, then goats will be like mushrooms. Or at least... that's one translation.... *turns scroll upside down and peers at it*

Uh we can eat the ducks. They taste good with mushrooms

Hmm, what does it mean?
All I can get from it is Dead Ducks and Poisonous (?) Goaatasss...
Ok, Your Goose is cooked, I guess. Or... Umm... I'm gonna have to google this.

*Starts Googling*

I've found only the quote. Well, crap-balls

We're screwed

We can use the mushrooms as spies

ducks as... ducks. Because people love ducks

But ducks are a sign of evil

How so?

Have you seen a duck? They just radiate an air of death and misfortune

That's true

But they're so cute and fluffy and deadly. Perfect pet