High heels were first worn by men!

Yep, I heard they were worn by butchers, to avoid them get dirty of all the animal´s blood

They were also created so that people in Paris didn't have to step in poop in the streets, because back then people just dumped it from their chamber pots out the window

I heard it was for men who rode horses, so they could grip the stirrups better with their heels.

Dammit women, stop stealing our clothes!