Breaking bad version:
When your cable goes out you're forced to pick up an extra shift at work
When you pick up and extra shift at work you get cancer
When you get cancer you start cooking and selling meth
When you start cooking and selling meth people come and try to kill you
And when people come and try to kill you you end up murdering a whole house of drug dealers
Don't end up murdering a whole house of drug dealers, get Direct TV.
When your cable goes out, you get bored.
When you get bored, you become a stunt diver.
When you become a stunt diver, you set up an epic stunt.
When you set up an epic stunt, your diving pool leaks.
When your diving pool leaks, you don't hear about it in time, and jump off the building.
When you jump off a building, Superman saves you.
When Superman saves you, he learns that you're poor and need a job.
When you're poor and need a job, Superman makes you janitor at the Superman Museum.
When you get a job at the Superman Museum, you get struck by lightning passing through Legion of Super-Hero statuettes.
When you get struck by lightning passing through Legion of Super-Hero statuettes, you gain their powers.
When you gain powers, you go insane and try to kill the Justice League.
And when you try to kill the Justice League, sh*t goes down.
Don't let sh*t go down, get Direct TV.
.
.
.
And if anyone gets my reference, I will love them forever.
When your cable goes out you're forced to pick up an extra shift at work
When you pick up and extra shift at work you get cancer
When you get cancer you start cooking and selling meth
When you start cooking and selling meth people come and try to kill you
And when people come and try to kill you you end up murdering a whole house of drug dealers
Don't end up murdering a whole house of drug dealers, get Direct TV.
When you get bored, you become a stunt diver.
When you become a stunt diver, you set up an epic stunt.
When you set up an epic stunt, your diving pool leaks.
When your diving pool leaks, you don't hear about it in time, and jump off the building.
When you jump off a building, Superman saves you.
When Superman saves you, he learns that you're poor and need a job.
When you're poor and need a job, Superman makes you janitor at the Superman Museum.
When you get a job at the Superman Museum, you get struck by lightning passing through Legion of Super-Hero statuettes.
When you get struck by lightning passing through Legion of Super-Hero statuettes, you gain their powers.
When you gain powers, you go insane and try to kill the Justice League.
And when you try to kill the Justice League, sh*t goes down.
Don't let sh*t go down, get Direct TV.
.
.
.
And if anyone gets my reference, I will love them forever.
Sorry to say, I am completely lost here