So much win. Don't judge a book by its cover

I always let someone down by saying that I only see them as a friend or that I'm not looking for a relationship. You shouldn't let them know you don't find them attractive, that puts a huge dent in their self esteem.

Maybe a girl being overweight wasnt "disgusting" or absolutely out of the question for them, they just never actually considered it. I currently am dating a man who is a lot older than I previously would allow myself to date and he has been more of a gentleman and chivalrous than all previous boyfriends combined. Alternatively I once dated a body builder and he was so into his body that he literally told me the gym would come before me, always. He was good looking and career driven but I decided those things didn't outweigh his obsession with the gym, for me personally. Long story short, yes initial attraction is important but sometimes that can be completely changed by personality or a person's life decisions. Just some food for thought.

I never said I only liked people for attractiveness. I like being mentally and emotionally attracted as well. They could look like Channing Tatum but if they were a jerk, I would never want to be with them.

No accusation of that at all. I guess what I meant was that emotional attractiveness can change how I perceive someone physically. If that makes sense? But wasn't saying anyone was shallow.