why am i even going to college

Where do you work?

The street corner at the local red light district. I have a very generous pimp daddy and I'm damn good at my job.

I did not see that one coming.

Exactly. I was literally explaining this just a couple of months ago to someone who was complaining that he deserved to have a really good job already considering he had just graduated from Dartmouth. So I asked him what he got his degree in and he said Philosophy. I've never facepalmed so hard in my life. You might have gone to an Ivy League school but you picked a useless degree, kid. What a waste.

yeah but even people with useful degrees don't always find jobs, I mean Wharton is a business school.