How do seven men just decide to gang rape someone? Did they send out like a mass text about it? Or were they like playing Uno and just decided that rape sounded good?
Rape, bullying and suicidal thoughts is nothing you should deal with alone. There is this site (7CupsOfTea.com), where you can find people to talk to, and even if you don't make an account you can always be anonymous. Please don't hurt yourself, there are people out there who love you! And never forget, there is always room for more people in our FS family, so you do not need to be alone. Ok?
Just from reading the post, there is clearly a massive amount of outside influence bring exerted on this person. Drug addiction, sexual, physical, and emotional coercion, the threat of future violence....all these things are factors in what looks like an extremely complicated relationship.
Top comment is ignorant as hell. As someone who has experience dealing with this sort of abuse (albeit nowhere near as bad), I can tell you that you don't think clearly while it is happening. You are terrified of the person but you also think that that is all you will ever amount to. It's almost like a mental illness of it's own, which is really tricky to beat. If someone beats depression and then gets depressed again, you don't hear people saying 'that was your fault, you could have controlled that'. Don't blame the victim. Go educate yourself.
Dude when you're in an abusive relationship you can't leave. You're not only too scared to but you don't want to see them for who they actually are. Also you don't start dating them unless you're in a bad place so it just takes them to a worse one. You won't be able to see a way out and to point out that they could have left is seriously offensive. You sound like the kind of person who says that maybe someone shouldn't have been dressed the way they were if they didn't want to get raped. There is no way out without a lot of help. So fuck off.
This is the first guest that wrote. The second guest was not me. Anyway, in reply to you saying that there were opportunities to escape, look I can see what you're getting at. I don't think you (tyler) were victim blaming. But I still disagree that semantics should be a part of this debate. The world is not black and white. I don't think that if you need a stipulation that 'but if emotions weren't there then there were opportunities to escape', because there WERE emotions, and there never would NOT be emotions. And emotion is just one part of it. This didn't happen in my case, but plenty of people I have met in this situation, and heard about, have to also deal with the safety of their children (plenty of situations where someone left and their abusive partner murdered their children because of it), drug abuse and dependency, homelessness, nowhere else to go. It is not just a matter of 'you are being treated badly and you could have geographically escaped from the abuser'.
Clearly you haven't been in an abusive relationship. The abuse isn't just physical it's emotional conditioning. Abusers systematically isolate you, tear you down and wear away at your ability to tell right from wrong. They make you feel like your nothing and only have them to rely on, continuously manipulating you. By then end you own the abuse and make excuses for it.....most of the time not even noticing. No one wants to be abused, this is a heart breaking story that is told daily.....why would you want to victim blame someone who has been shattered on so many levels. Maybe do some research and work on having more empathy, you prolly know someone who's been in a situation like this. What your saying just contributes towards ignorance that harms.
ffs
I haven't and don't know anyone. That's why I talk the way I do. Empirically. Looking at the scenario without emotion. I realize that emotional conditioning happens. That's why I said empirically. Uncpromised. Logical. Obviously with emotion you lose this.
You statistical probably do, unless you know only 5 people. Also abuse is purely emotional based so why would you try to rationalise it by removing emotion, your removing 80% of the equation making the rationalisation invalid. In the end it just seems like you love the sound of your own voice.
maybe because people don't tell me jack shit. Nobody trusts me with anything beyond boiling water and sometimes not even that. That might be why I "don't know" anybody with emotional problems. Or else I'm as dense as osmium and they hint at it and I don't get it because I don't work with hints very well. Or maybe it could be that I'm an emotionless bastard and can't comprehend the fact that logic isn't the deciding factor for some people.
That's because emotions are involved. From a purely empirical standpoint famousone is right; there were opportunities to escape.
without emotion
logically thinking
mentally and relationshipally uncompromised
I haven't and don't know anyone. That's why I talk the way I do. Empirically. Looking at the scenario without emotion. I realize that emotional conditioning happens. That's why I said empirically. Uncpromised. Logical. Obviously with emotion you lose this.