This is what my dog would be like

If someone were to break into my house and steal my tv, my dog would probably bring them the remote control

Just don't touch the squeaky carrot, my dog will destroy you.

my friend has this realyl fluffy, very very kind middle-sized dog. well, once an intruder had been trying to get into their house and the forementioned cuddly, loving dog turned into a freaking monster, barked her throat out until my friend and her mum got up and let her outside. apparently the dog kept running around the yard for a while while barking on full volume and my friend said she looked like some pre-historic wolf mum who just had her babies stolen from her and that it's really lucky that the would-be-burglar ran away before the dog got out of the house and tore him to fucking pieces.