UK greeting cards are a bit too harsh sometimes

It's not harsh, most people would see it as banter and laugh it off

you can buy a set of postcards of birds saying things such as this on etsy

Amazing, 9/10.

When they said the English had a dry sense of humor they weren't lying

I've got a friend who's a whore, like, she's a prostitute for a living; I'm cool with that. But she's also a bitch, like, illogical inconsistent and prone to anger; that's terrible.