This made me laugh WAY more than it should have.

I wish I was rich enough to pay people to paint my house

Once there were people replacing the pipes on my house and told us not to turn on the taps until they had finished but I forgot and washed my hands and the man outside the window yelled at me so i ducked and crawled out before he saw me

One time people were working on the electric at my house. I was in the middle of a shower and all of the sudden it was pitch black!