How to prepare your guinea pig for battle

Guinea pigs have no interest in battle. How did you even get this funded?

The single most important thing you'll see today

I need this for reasons

I can imagine him riding a dog into battle and shouting onwards to victory my loyal steed or some other guina pig war cry

It sounds like your being goverened, I say rebellion against our guinea pig rulers we can still figh!. Onwards to glory against though guinea pig enemys who demand the carrots and pats but they shall get much more!!!

appa yep yep!! :D