Word of advice

No it's a real life breathing woman, I promise I'm not that pathetic

Okay, that's cute then :)
Who's a good boyfriend? Who's a good boyfriend? Yes, yes you are *pat pat*

-_-"

*gives you a treat*

That's disgusting, Shuri.
I'd advise you to do as I do, which is to help cleanse your partner in the shower after you've defiled her.

Fair enough

Just remember to rub clockwise on their left nipple, and counterclockwise on their right. That's NEVER been a hilarious sensory overload in my experience... ;)