Viz advice mallard

Would the clock one actually work?

Are you serious?

[Quacking intensifies]

get constipated as much as humanly possible and then just let it all out, once in 2 weeks. saves water, toilet paper, and/or your family

Clock one doesn't work cause clocks aren't hooked up to Internet they just move at a correct
Pace.

For the spaghetti one, how would you find the start? With your fingers?

Somewhat unrelated, but worth mentioning:
Get four piglets and with animal safe dye, number them 1, 2, 3 and 5. Grease them up and set them loose in a public place like a school, library or office building.

Sit back and enjoy the chaos.