I'd be rich as f*ck

For real I'd have like 7 dollars per week

Damn I would be livin easy

If I had a dollar for every time I wanted to die, I wouldn't want to die anymore

Looks more like:
If I had a dollar for every existing gender (Don't turn this into a comment war)

If I had a dollar for every time I wanted to die... I'd have a lot of currency I can't use

You'd intentionally want to die then...