The mystery has finally been solved

At first, I thought it was soap!

Oh thank God I'm not the only old-ass bastard on here that remembers Pez!

Hey watch it, I'm not old ass yet!

Hey, you remember Pez. That's as good a barometer as any.
But don't worry. We can grow old together. ;)

But, but, my grandma still calls me young lady, doesn't that count for something?
...
You know what? Forget it! Bring it on! I bet I could beat you in a wheelchair race any day at the old folks home!

Are you prepared to drag your booty on the carpet should your wheelchair blow a tire? Because THIS guy is!

Ha! I'll have all-terrain tires and my dentures cemented tight. You won't stand a chance!

Well, that just goes to show you who among us has the booty with the most diverse skillset. ;)

Hmm. What other skills does it have?

Other than the skills to pay the bills...it is able to hypnotize a chosen few young women if shaken just right.

Nice. Mine is really good at helping me climb stairs and doubles as a seat cushion.

Ladies and gentlemen, my flirting skills.

I've never been hypnotised before. Maybe you could give me a demonstration.

@matthewg come back and flirt with me, dammit.

Oh my goodness, four of you "arrived" to stand tall against my onslaught? Ok.
K1: Allow me to test that out as a pillow.
K2: One doesn't have need of flirting skills when they're as cute as you.
K3: Anytime, sugah.
K4: You don't have to tell me twice.

Dang, you're good. What's your secret?

And wouldn't you prefer it as a lap warmer? Sorry for the multiples, it takes me awhile to think of replies to this kind of intercourse.

Woudn't be much of a secret if I told all of FS.
I prefer to leave it up to you as to what you want to warm up with your little tush-tush.

So I get to pick whatever I want? Can it be your face?

Just a note: Pez is still around.

It is! It's hard to find the bigger packages of it though. Mostly you can just buy two rolls with a dispenser. You can buy it online too. That stuff is crack for kids. So good.

Hey, um...this is kinda why I wanted you to stalk me...

It now comes in chocolate and cola flavors as well

I'm more of a...french vanilla kind of guy.

Do you have any idea how many Matthew G's there are in the world and how many turn up in Facebook and Google results? A lot. So many. You'd have to narrow it down for me a bit. And I um... might be talking a bigger game than I am comfortable playing. I hope that doesn't ruin it for you. I'm not entirely comfortable making online friends my irl friends... Mostly because that's never happened. This site is my first experience with purely online friends

I completely understand. I've only met people online a handful of times back when I was much younger, and it has never gone well.
But hey, if you ever need to practice your flirting skills, far be it from me to stop you.

Thank you for understanding! And ditto on the flirting, I enjoy it. :)

Hey did you want to friend each other or just stalk each other on Facebook? I'm still trying to figure out how to provide each other with enough information to find each other without giving that info to all of FS.