It works

Ain't nobody got time for that!

Where is video game time and great sex at?

I'll take 2, the occasional 3, 7, 8 minus netflix, 9, and 10

*Shoots you in head* "no way she saw that coming"

Don't forget the occasional sacrifice to satan

Well, not sure about surprises. We don't appreciate some surprises. For example 'Surprise! I killed your cat!' - we hate those.

So, my girl is reptilian from outer space.

I'll take all 10

Just text back
That's good enough for me

All of this plus not being a jackass to me when I'm on my period, random acts of romance. (Like an impulse to drive somewhere to stargaze or something), liking my memes, and enjoying the same movies/books/shows as me so we talk and argue for hours. (And then make out after any arguments so we're still good)

Her "Are you trying to surprise me with something?
Him "Well I can never lie so yes I was going to buy you something nice"
Her "Well what is it"
Him "Well I didn't want to tell you but I bought you a noose"