The real issues women should match for!

Not exactly a fair comparison.
You have to consider the environment in which you say such things. If a woman said that among gay men or straight women she would likely have not a single tongue in her pants, and would be making the same statement as a man.
Likewise if a man says "suck my dick" at a gay bar he's in for an interesting evening.

When people say f*** you, why do you care? You are letting the negative things into you.

Im a straight girl and i say suck my dick all the time sooo

That's because we hope to get 47 mouths in our pantz

Women aren't as sexually driven as men.

47 tongues? I don't know about that. After all she could look like Ruth Ginsberg.

Girls where I work try "suck my ass," but they underestimate men.

Say "suck my dick". if they point out you don't have one, tell them you'll grow one and they'll be the first on their knees.