Things you can say during sex and during funeral

You got splooge everywhere

Is it over? Can I go home now?

I hope you're proud of me dad

It's more fun when you're alive

This is the last time I'll see you face

"Now to hide the body"

This is a nice coffin

He's so stiff!

I wish you were alive.

It's too cold in here!

Meow.

that smell though.

Pass me the tissues