I am the Mad Pooper

Looks like the mailman is still at it.
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/portland-postal-worker-caught-pooping-neighbor-yard-wrong-camera-guy-video-article-1.113229

I sent an article about this to my crush to instigate conversation

this only half of it. Charmin tried to buy them off with free TP.

Too bad they're not also the Upset Urinator, or Drumpf would enlist the FBI to track them down and give them a cabinet level position.