I'm having a pun BATTLE with my old English teacher and I'm losing

Don't you mean some disbeleaf

No. We're making magic-centric puns.
You can't WIZARD a new pun-topic out of your ass.

It's dem rules.

Fine but dont under estimate me I have a few Twix up my sleeve

You can't expect to win a pun battle if you scorn the rules.
This isn't mean SPIRITed. I'm really trying to have you here.

This is a Sirius try

WITCH one of you is winning?

I'm WANDering that myself

Just Slytherin by...