Addendum: Girls and women, if you see your friends doing any of the above, call them out on it. You can do it in private, just let them know you saw it and it's not cool with you. If you're aware of that kind of problem and do nothing, you're complicit.
I do appreciate the whole make negative things known in private but not abuse. If you see abuse towards anyone, step forward right away. If you lose a friendship, what you really lost was someone who abuses people and won't own up to that fact.
Confronting many people in public can make them dig their heels in and become defensive, at which point you've lost your chance to have an impact. Especially the kind of person who would abuse. Not only that, but you risk them taking their anger at YOU out on the person they're abusing later. All that does is make you feel like you have the moral high ground when you walk away--something you may be able to do but a luxury most abuse victims don't have. You're not risking just yourself when you embarrass and anger an abuser, you're also endangering the person being abused.
Did you read my initial comment? It's not about confronting randos on the street. It's about confronting your friends or family when you witness this behavior. You're talking about a scenario where you're a stranger/witness and the only sway you have is as defense in the moment. I'm talking about people you've known a long time who you have a chance to influence in the long term. People you love and care about. Most people turn a blind eye completely to their friends' flaws and don't ever say anything at all because they are closer to the abuser than the victim. My comment is directed to those people--people who, no matter what, will NOT risk losing their friends by causing a scene. Which is many, many people.
Of course I read your comment. And I agree that some people would redirect their anger or dig their heels in. Regardless of if you know the person in question or not, they can do either or both those things. I was asking if the roles were reversed and it was a man doing the striking, would you intervene? Did you read my comment? I surely didn't say if it was a stranger.
The issue is if you watch some one abuse another, saying you aren't cool with it later isn't doing much. Watching someone being humiliated and hurt reinforces with them their position of abuse. There are clips on YouTube of people laughing at men being hit by women but when it is the other way around, scores of people come to the woman's defense.
The issue I have with your statement is the waiting to speak up. You have no idea how bad it is between them. They could go off and murder them between the time you see the abuse and the time you talk to them.
Thank you, good to know there are actual people who still remember what feminism is for and what it should stand for, the word has become so toxic i almost got angry reading the title but the content is the first real feminist thing I've seen in the longest of times
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· 6 years ago
"i almost got angry reading the title but the content is the first real feminist thing I've seen in the longest of times" - Just taking a guess here, but that might be because your favoured source of feminist content probably are meme sites that love to "expose" false flag hoaxes and a handful of actual lunatics they misunderstand as representing third wave feminists
I ignore the memes but i know people who agree with the memes and that terrifies me. I know most of the "feminist owned" and other such bull is stupid or fake but I've met people who agree with the stupid and i fear the spread of it's influence. I have not met, in person, a real femanist only girls who believe men should bow down to them and such, i agree women need a leg up but no-one needs a few pegs down (and in their opinion a few hundred). We should build each other up not break each other down, why fo we always see stupid being widely broadcasted and not the good or informative
Seriously are, I posted something on facebook about exes using fake profiles to spy on you, while they look like some little troll, her mother called me two hours later and accused me of trying to say that was her daughter. I never said a word about her. Somebody is guilty apparently.
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· 6 years ago
So there are so many exes using fake profiles to spy on you, while they look like some little troll, that nobody could tell who you were talking about?
I've been in a few failed relationships since the crazy one, most either didn't want my baggage (my child) or had issues with my work schedule, (although they seemed to enjoy that I make a decent living) and yes one of my exes beside apparently 'crazy' does like to spy on me, she did so to her other ex while we were dating (one reason why I broke it off with her just short of a month)
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· 6 years ago
So... the answer to my question would be a no. Which would make it not that hard to guess who you were referring to. Just saying.
hood--Why do women "need a leg up?" More women than men were admitted to medical school. More than 55% of college degrees are given to women. In the newspaper, I see that many local high schools have four girls as class officers (president, Vice President, treasurer and secretary) some have two,boys and two girls, but none has just boys or even a majority of boys. So, why do women "need a leg up?"
The issue is if you watch some one abuse another, saying you aren't cool with it later isn't doing much. Watching someone being humiliated and hurt reinforces with them their position of abuse. There are clips on YouTube of people laughing at men being hit by women but when it is the other way around, scores of people come to the woman's defense.
The issue I have with your statement is the waiting to speak up. You have no idea how bad it is between them. They could go off and murder them between the time you see the abuse and the time you talk to them.