Any advice?

They are plotting. Run.

Sleep with one eye open for the rest of your life

Actually squinting is a sign of trust and affection in cats. That’s why people who dislike cats and reflexively scowl at them and look away are then approached by the cat more often. They just told them that they like them by accident.

I would learn to write. I am dyslexic and I about had a heart attack reading that.

My youngest cat when I put flea stuff on her

get two dogs