When you park like an asshole

It would be resisting arrest if you called the police on them.

If they're missing paint on the door handle it could be considered destruction of property--and if to get it touched up costs more than a few bucks it could be pushed to felony destruction of property... this would all be the worst case scenario though. Fact is, it would be easier to just contact the local PD's traffic department, send them a photo and include the license plate in the picture of them parking illegally/across more than one space, and theyll get mailed a citation. If it's not public property but rather private property/a business you can tell the store manager or property manager and they can actually just have the car towed.

I'd love to see someone's face as their car gets towed for parking in 4 spaces

could be in the UK

Can you not carry a pocket knife in the UK? In the US you're allowed as long as the blade doesn't exceed 3.5 inches and it folds up, can't be a fixed blade. Anything bigger or a fixed blade may require you to have a weapons permit/concealed weapons permit or may just be illegal to carry.

http://www.eutimes.net/2018/05/uk-man-arrested-for-possessing-a-potato-peeler/

Somehow I doubt that the policy and law makers in the UK ever had any plans on following their own policies and laws. Arresting someone for garden tools and kitchen utensils and not arresting rapists for fear of being politically incorrect defeats the very purpose of a government. It should be there to protect the people from criminals and idiots not be idiotic and criminal themselves.