Censorship has changed over the years

I've said it before, but... Calling someone retarded is an insult to that person. Nobody else. The only time it gets offensive is when you call a mentally ill person retarded. Retarded is an insult. Not a way of defining a mentally ill person.

To follow suit, if I ever asked someone if they were retarded (because of something idiotic or ignorant they did, and not because it seemed like they had an actual mental illness) and then it turned out they actually did have a mental illness, I would immediately apologize and feel bad about it. I wouldn't use that word to describe that person ever again, but I'd still use the word if my friends were being stupid about something.

You don"t call retarded people retarded. You call your friends retarded for acting retarded.