Except that at 23, I don't own a house yet. So here I am munching a shitload of

"Why are you smoking? Dont you know that will kill you?"
-Well did you know my gramma lived to be 110 years old?
"No. How did she do it?"
-By minding her own fucking business

“Munching a shitload of bark chips at the playground.”

He's my dream man

Preach !!