I can’t think of a title

"Given the circumstances at hand, I am currently unable to preform the aforementioned task"

I felt the rigger within my loins, but alas, one foot, two foot... one foot, two foot... alas.
Nothing. Rigor. Stiff as the board the broad left me upon... one foot, two foot... alas.
Comfortably numb... but for her... one foot, two foot...
A whistle?
The depth.
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..... boat.... cool fish.