@funkmasterrx I would explain why this is an attractive idea to me, but then all of you would think I'm even more ****ed up than you may already do- and that would just be counterproductive
1/2 Oh goodie, someone asked.
.
Hard to explain, but I have this strange desire to father like 500000 kids, preferably scattered all over the world. And in this fucked up fantasy, leaving the mothers to deal with it solo is literally part of it, while I scoot off to load up the next young lady. I literally like the idea that there would be a ton of little Me(s) around the world, wondering what their dad is like. Not knowing, they'll just grow up organically, but if they're my kids, they'll definitely turn out to be devilish little hell-raisers; and I love that. I fucking love that.
.
It's less a logical, well thought-out idea than it is an obscure idea of something I vaguely imagine would be fun. I'll never actually do it, but if there were no real consequences, I'd love to. In this case, the fact that a single mother is left with a fucking kid, is consequence enough to deter me. But that's the real world, pactical me thinking.
deleted
· 5 years ago
2/2 the other side is: as a single, responsible male who definitely has not yet fathered a child, I can't speak out of experience- but I imagine fsthering a child to be an extremely, primally satisfying experience. Like "I DID THAT" and there's a very pregnant female to prove it. Now multiply that by like a million- and I dig it.
.
I'm extremely motivated by pride, and nothing would make me more proud. So that dude in the picture up top? Not realistic, but a hell of a fantastictical dream. Bear in mind, I don't associate actually having a kid or the responsibility of fatherhood with this strange dream, so that's probably why it's an attractive idea.
I get it. Got a bit of Genghis in your personality.
Your goal might actually be achievable, though without the pleasure of sex. Just donate a lot of sperm.
2
deleted
· 5 years ago
Hahahahaha fuckkkk that. 2/3 of the fun of having kids is in the making
I was a little apprehensive when I saw this was the post I'd been tagged into.
'
Which part were you wanting my take on @shikharizard ? Or just the whole thing?
deleted
· 5 years ago
@Xvarnah haha, sorry mama-bear. I meant the comment thread here with funk. I don't need to hear your comments on the post of you don't feeling sharing
.
Haha I have a feeling you're not going to see this as humourously as I do xD
Eh? No it's fine haha
'
I think my perspective on it may sound a bit boring to you, however, because to me that sounds very biologically normal. Tbh I think if you took out the responsibility factor there's a lot of men who would be quite content to run around impregnating as many women as possible. And taking pleasure in knowing there's a ton of kids they made out there. From an evolutionary standpoint there's no better way to ensure your own genes are passed on, and that's what the end goal of a lot of our DNA is, so to me it makes sense that would be a fantasy that would occur. Plus there's the whole "look how many women I convinced to bear my children" part of it, which can be a big ego boost in and of itself.
'
From the more practical standpoint I'm very glad you're saying you wouldn't do that, though. Even without the financial aspect, lord knows there's enough kids out there who don't have their fathers around
Also donating sperm doesn't guarantee women can't come after you financially.. Especially in Canada haha. Plus, as you say... takes literally what is probably the most fun part about having a kid out of the equation
deleted
· 5 years ago
@Xvarnah *Facepalm*
.
.
.
Unbelievably boring. How did you take Genghis Khan and make it so.. practical?
.
Obviously I would never do anything like that. But doesn't it sound like great fun?
Haha well Genghis Khan was fairly practical from the little I know of him.
'
Were you expecting more outrage or disgust or something? <.< it just makes somewhat sense to me that that might be a fantasy a guy would have Haha. It does run the risk that one of your kids may eventually show up and behead you one day. Or worse you may accidentally hit on one of them
'
Haha I don't know if it sounds like FUN exactly. I'm sure you'd enjoy the production phase, however. I'm curious do you enjoy the idea of there being a lot of women who are pregnant by you, or there being a lot of your kids out there?
deleted
· 5 years ago
He was the ultimate badass.
.
Honestly, I was hoping you’d find the whole thing as ridiculously hilarious as I do. I was testing if you’re the same type of insane as I am. Thankfully you’re not :)
.
Let me reassure you, it sounds like fun. I enjoyed “the production phase”. And both. Please don’t ask me to elaborate on that.
But a practical one
'
haha I'm fairly certain I'm entirely my own brand of insane. As are you, for that matter
'
I wasn't aware the production phase had taken place yet.
'
Haha did we finally find a topic you don't want to go into detail about?
deleted
· 5 years ago
Perhaps.
.
And definitely, but I was trying to see if you’re really a psychopath. You’re not!
.
Hahaha it hasn’t! I meant I enjoyed the terminology you created.
.
Fuck me that hurt. Is that my reputation? Aviva kept saying I was a closed book.
Either that or I'm just a very good one and I'm blending into society at a high-functioning level. Probably I'm just not one, though.
Probably.
'
Ah I see x) I'm fairly certain that would be your favourite part, however
'
Did it? It wasn't intended to hurt. You always seemed quite comfortable with talking about pretty much whatever came to your mind to me. Even the conversation about your ex that you weren't entirely on board with having you laid out on the table
@funkmaster unsubscribe bitch. We'll kiss when we're good and ready. And I'm always on the warpath
.
@Xvarnah you're not.
.
Most definitely. 18 seconds of joy followed by 18 years of pain.
.
Hahaha I'm not uncomfortable. I just hate the idea of being that guy who shares every little thought in his head. That's awful. I only spilled because baby Aviva wouldn't stop asking
@shikharizard it's cute you think the pain would stop at 18 years
'
I didn't say you DO spill every thought in your head, I said you seem comfortable. It's hard to say what's on your mind without saying what's on your mind after all. I know you wouldn't have talked about the stuff Aviva asked about if she hadn't stopped asking, the point was you didn't shy away from saying it either
deleted
· 5 years ago
@Xvarnah yeah you’re right. Little bastards would be treading on my name for life.
.
Thank you for the clarification. That’s much better!
.
Btw, if one of my spawn comes to try and behead me, the last thing I’d do before going out is tell them how proud they’d made me. Hitting on them is less of a concern. In general I’m not super attracted to my own ethnicity.
@shikharizard rarely is the term bastard actually used in it's original context like that
'
Haha well given you'd be an absentee father on the sociopathis spectrum it seems only a matter of time until one of them would get the idea.
'
Also you're assuming that if you fathered hundreds of kids they'd all take on the appearance of your ethnicity. Which is possible if you only father kids with women of your ethnicity, but given you just said you're not very attracted to them it seems unlikely
deleted
· 5 years ago
@Xvarnah I can't believe you just said that about my children. Hey, I love them. In my own way. From a distance. A safe and relaxing distance.
.
They'd be blessed. All the best super-villain stories start that way.
.
Eh, we're literally hovering around the topic of me hitting on my unborn daughters. It was funny, but now it's just making me uncomfortable haha. Let's move on
That seems like the wisest choice
'
Do they? I thought all the supervillains started as either obnoxiously rich kids or that one kid everyone in the world bullied into the oblivion, but is somehow still shocked when they turn up with 50 hench men and are out for revenge
'
I was more addressing it directly as a very real possibility if you father tons of children you never spend time with haha. But that's fair, it's not exactly family friendly conversational fare
deleted
· 5 years ago
@Xvarnah Doesn't it?
.
Nahhh, not all of them. Honestly both of those are such pathetic backstories. One just had everything given to him, and the other was bullied? So a spoilt brat and pushover are the best super-villains you can come up with? Why can't somebody just be evil because he wants to be, and he's good at it? That's awesome.
.
Nothing we talk about is family-friendly and I wouldn't change it for the world.
@shikharizard haha before psychological profiling was a thing that's literally what they believed about every criminal
'
Just alter it slightly so it's not quite as disturbing?
deleted
· 5 years ago
@Xvarnah that’s so weak. I hope that if they ever catch me, the realize I did anything I’m accused of doing, just because I could, and because nobody could stop me, even if they wanted to.
.
Absolutely not. Perfect way to ward off the babies. And I’m not referring to anyone in specific.
Haha even in that scenario the types of crimes you commit, the types of victims you have, the types of products you use to commit the crime, your actions before and after the crime all tell a story, and it's quite likely you'd unwittingly tell yours without even realizing it
deleted
· 5 years ago
@Xvarnah I’d tell the story..
.
Anecdote: I’ve mentioned I used to work in car rentals at YVR. My first sales job ever at 19 - extremely unethical work. Assuming someone has booked a car, a rental from start to finish should take 7 minutes. In 7 minutes we used to be smooth/charming AF, figure out the clients needs/destination/cargo, build rapport so they like us, and then RECOMMEND a vehicle upgrade, GPS, insurance, gas, baby seats, etc etc etc.
.
I took a guys total cost from $1300 for 13 days to $8900 for 13 days. $350 for 3 days to $3100 for 3 days. And literally 100s more. We were good, and we made serious cash.
.
On one side I warn people/friends/family against car rentals, and what to look for. But on the other, I can’t help but talk about it. It literally like mental chess, and “winning” was the best feeling on earth. I’d be the worst criminal ever.
Haha and that's why people don't trust salesmen x)
'
All I can picture now is you being arrested after a crime and there's Frozone in the foreground ".. This maniac had me exactly where he wanted. And what does he do? He starts MONOLOGUING!"
deleted
· 5 years ago
Eh, I'm honest about being dishonest though. Don't make me sell to you, and I'll be the most direct, forthcoming person you've ever met. In many cases, too direct. My ex literally left me because of this.. she couldn't reconcile that I was two separate people by choice. A face for work, and a face for everyone else. I suppose she won't be the last person I know who doesn't like it.
.
Definitely not. The villains who monologue are idiots who deserve to lose. I'd execute my enemy in a heartbeat. Talking about your victories, implies living long enough to talk about your victories. If I'm actually engaged in a fight/game/sale/competition of any kind, no distractions until its over. If I lose because I'm distracted, I have nobody to blame but myself, and I HAAAAAATE losing. I hate losing more than I want to win.
Has your ex never met anyone who worked in customer service? Or, well, ANYWHERE? I've yet to meet anyone who is the same person when they're working as when they're not. Some people have more extreme variances but at the end of the day pretty much everyone is a chameleon who wears the face most suited to the occasion
'
Well in your case I was imagining it would be more after your evil plan had taken place and he'd have overheard you telling someone about it or such Haha. I feel like you'd be a bad person to play monopoly with
deleted
· 5 years ago
@Xvarnah she was 19 when I met her. Too young I guess.
.
Oh the worst. I'll crush everyone and you'll never hear the end of it. And yes, people will hear about my evil plan because I just can't help but share how deviously brilliant it was. But only after its over and it no longer matters. Until the point of execution mums the word
Or too naive perhaps. Either way she'll have to catch on eventually
'
but wait you're talking to me about your evil plan right now
deleted
· 5 years ago
@Xvarnah very naive.
.
You're special mama-bear. Hah, as if. I haven't told you anything except that I'm evil and that there's a plan. I mean, there isn't, but there will be. And when it is, it will be an evil masterpiece.
@shikharizard well I know it likely involves the Irish mafia so that's a start
deleted
· 5 years ago
@Xvarnah hahaha I'm flattered. You're giving me way too much credit.
.
I wish I had an evil masterplan, I wouldn't have to work so hard. What I do, and specifically what I'm about to do -the job I'm starting in May- might even be a shady to the point of cruel business practice, but it's not illegal. I'm driven, I'm industrious, and I just found the perfect vehicle for me. Now and long-term. Closing deals daily is going to take an element of Machiavellianism... but still not evil ;)
you're telling me you can't get the Irish mafia in on this? I'm disappointed
'
"Shady to the point of cruel" is a bit concerning. But it sounds like you're looking forward to this new position at any rate
deleted
· 5 years ago
Haha sorry [not sorry] to disappoint ;)
.
To be honest after spending almost 20 years feeling conflicted, I finally embraced that living life in a "bit concerning" way is really the only way to live. Some of the things that we know are a little bad, FEEL good. I enjoy being that little bit predatory, without being overly destructive. It's like an outlet
.
Hard to explain, but I have this strange desire to father like 500000 kids, preferably scattered all over the world. And in this fucked up fantasy, leaving the mothers to deal with it solo is literally part of it, while I scoot off to load up the next young lady. I literally like the idea that there would be a ton of little Me(s) around the world, wondering what their dad is like. Not knowing, they'll just grow up organically, but if they're my kids, they'll definitely turn out to be devilish little hell-raisers; and I love that. I fucking love that.
.
It's less a logical, well thought-out idea than it is an obscure idea of something I vaguely imagine would be fun. I'll never actually do it, but if there were no real consequences, I'd love to. In this case, the fact that a single mother is left with a fucking kid, is consequence enough to deter me. But that's the real world, pactical me thinking.
.
I'm extremely motivated by pride, and nothing would make me more proud. So that dude in the picture up top? Not realistic, but a hell of a fantastictical dream. Bear in mind, I don't associate actually having a kid or the responsibility of fatherhood with this strange dream, so that's probably why it's an attractive idea.
Your goal might actually be achievable, though without the pleasure of sex. Just donate a lot of sperm.
'
Which part were you wanting my take on @shikharizard ? Or just the whole thing?
.
Haha I have a feeling you're not going to see this as humourously as I do xD
'
I think my perspective on it may sound a bit boring to you, however, because to me that sounds very biologically normal. Tbh I think if you took out the responsibility factor there's a lot of men who would be quite content to run around impregnating as many women as possible. And taking pleasure in knowing there's a ton of kids they made out there. From an evolutionary standpoint there's no better way to ensure your own genes are passed on, and that's what the end goal of a lot of our DNA is, so to me it makes sense that would be a fantasy that would occur. Plus there's the whole "look how many women I convinced to bear my children" part of it, which can be a big ego boost in and of itself.
'
From the more practical standpoint I'm very glad you're saying you wouldn't do that, though. Even without the financial aspect, lord knows there's enough kids out there who don't have their fathers around
.
.
.
Unbelievably boring. How did you take Genghis Khan and make it so.. practical?
.
Obviously I would never do anything like that. But doesn't it sound like great fun?
'
Were you expecting more outrage or disgust or something? <.< it just makes somewhat sense to me that that might be a fantasy a guy would have Haha. It does run the risk that one of your kids may eventually show up and behead you one day. Or worse you may accidentally hit on one of them
'
Haha I don't know if it sounds like FUN exactly. I'm sure you'd enjoy the production phase, however. I'm curious do you enjoy the idea of there being a lot of women who are pregnant by you, or there being a lot of your kids out there?
.
Honestly, I was hoping you’d find the whole thing as ridiculously hilarious as I do. I was testing if you’re the same type of insane as I am. Thankfully you’re not :)
.
Let me reassure you, it sounds like fun. I enjoyed “the production phase”. And both. Please don’t ask me to elaborate on that.
'
haha I'm fairly certain I'm entirely my own brand of insane. As are you, for that matter
'
I wasn't aware the production phase had taken place yet.
'
Haha did we finally find a topic you don't want to go into detail about?
.
And definitely, but I was trying to see if you’re really a psychopath. You’re not!
.
Hahaha it hasn’t! I meant I enjoyed the terminology you created.
.
Fuck me that hurt. Is that my reputation? Aviva kept saying I was a closed book.
Probably.
'
Ah I see x) I'm fairly certain that would be your favourite part, however
'
Did it? It wasn't intended to hurt. You always seemed quite comfortable with talking about pretty much whatever came to your mind to me. Even the conversation about your ex that you weren't entirely on board with having you laid out on the table
.
@Xvarnah you're not.
.
Most definitely. 18 seconds of joy followed by 18 years of pain.
.
Hahaha I'm not uncomfortable. I just hate the idea of being that guy who shares every little thought in his head. That's awful. I only spilled because baby Aviva wouldn't stop asking
'
I didn't say you DO spill every thought in your head, I said you seem comfortable. It's hard to say what's on your mind without saying what's on your mind after all. I know you wouldn't have talked about the stuff Aviva asked about if she hadn't stopped asking, the point was you didn't shy away from saying it either
.
Thank you for the clarification. That’s much better!
.
Btw, if one of my spawn comes to try and behead me, the last thing I’d do before going out is tell them how proud they’d made me. Hitting on them is less of a concern. In general I’m not super attracted to my own ethnicity.
'
Haha well given you'd be an absentee father on the sociopathis spectrum it seems only a matter of time until one of them would get the idea.
'
Also you're assuming that if you fathered hundreds of kids they'd all take on the appearance of your ethnicity. Which is possible if you only father kids with women of your ethnicity, but given you just said you're not very attracted to them it seems unlikely
.
They'd be blessed. All the best super-villain stories start that way.
.
Eh, we're literally hovering around the topic of me hitting on my unborn daughters. It was funny, but now it's just making me uncomfortable haha. Let's move on
'
Do they? I thought all the supervillains started as either obnoxiously rich kids or that one kid everyone in the world bullied into the oblivion, but is somehow still shocked when they turn up with 50 hench men and are out for revenge
'
I was more addressing it directly as a very real possibility if you father tons of children you never spend time with haha. But that's fair, it's not exactly family friendly conversational fare
.
Nahhh, not all of them. Honestly both of those are such pathetic backstories. One just had everything given to him, and the other was bullied? So a spoilt brat and pushover are the best super-villains you can come up with? Why can't somebody just be evil because he wants to be, and he's good at it? That's awesome.
.
Nothing we talk about is family-friendly and I wouldn't change it for the world.
'
Just alter it slightly so it's not quite as disturbing?
.
Absolutely not. Perfect way to ward off the babies. And I’m not referring to anyone in specific.
.
Anecdote: I’ve mentioned I used to work in car rentals at YVR. My first sales job ever at 19 - extremely unethical work. Assuming someone has booked a car, a rental from start to finish should take 7 minutes. In 7 minutes we used to be smooth/charming AF, figure out the clients needs/destination/cargo, build rapport so they like us, and then RECOMMEND a vehicle upgrade, GPS, insurance, gas, baby seats, etc etc etc.
.
I took a guys total cost from $1300 for 13 days to $8900 for 13 days. $350 for 3 days to $3100 for 3 days. And literally 100s more. We were good, and we made serious cash.
.
On one side I warn people/friends/family against car rentals, and what to look for. But on the other, I can’t help but talk about it. It literally like mental chess, and “winning” was the best feeling on earth. I’d be the worst criminal ever.
'
All I can picture now is you being arrested after a crime and there's Frozone in the foreground ".. This maniac had me exactly where he wanted. And what does he do? He starts MONOLOGUING!"
.
Definitely not. The villains who monologue are idiots who deserve to lose. I'd execute my enemy in a heartbeat. Talking about your victories, implies living long enough to talk about your victories. If I'm actually engaged in a fight/game/sale/competition of any kind, no distractions until its over. If I lose because I'm distracted, I have nobody to blame but myself, and I HAAAAAATE losing. I hate losing more than I want to win.
'
Well in your case I was imagining it would be more after your evil plan had taken place and he'd have overheard you telling someone about it or such Haha. I feel like you'd be a bad person to play monopoly with
.
Oh the worst. I'll crush everyone and you'll never hear the end of it. And yes, people will hear about my evil plan because I just can't help but share how deviously brilliant it was. But only after its over and it no longer matters. Until the point of execution mums the word
'
but wait you're talking to me about your evil plan right now
.
You're special mama-bear. Hah, as if. I haven't told you anything except that I'm evil and that there's a plan. I mean, there isn't, but there will be. And when it is, it will be an evil masterpiece.
.
I wish I had an evil masterplan, I wouldn't have to work so hard. What I do, and specifically what I'm about to do -the job I'm starting in May- might even be a shady to the point of cruel business practice, but it's not illegal. I'm driven, I'm industrious, and I just found the perfect vehicle for me. Now and long-term. Closing deals daily is going to take an element of Machiavellianism... but still not evil ;)
'
"Shady to the point of cruel" is a bit concerning. But it sounds like you're looking forward to this new position at any rate
.
To be honest after spending almost 20 years feeling conflicted, I finally embraced that living life in a "bit concerning" way is really the only way to live. Some of the things that we know are a little bad, FEEL good. I enjoy being that little bit predatory, without being overly destructive. It's like an outlet