That’s a no for me dog. Can’t compare pain like that. Some will live through either or both relatively unaffected. Others may suffer deep scars from even the mildest neglect or toxicity. When someone tells me not having a father really messed them up, I have to believe their pain. When someone tells me having a toxic mother messed them up I believe them no less. Someone else may say that having great parents and losing them young is worse than either, and someone else may say having no parents or 2 toxic parents, or having parents that are too great... it’s a long list. Pain is pain and people get hurt differently by different things. So neither is worse, but both can hurt as deeply.
It’s all relative right? If your one toxic parent is like Norman Bates mother compared to 2 parents who force you to take piano lessons... or a person who is very thick skinned versus one who is more sensitive... So “apples to apples” generally yes- but life is seldom apples to apples, especially when comparing the lives of different people.
I had a toxic THEN absent mother, and a toxic father that remarried.
Then I had a toxic father and a toxic stepmother. Then they divorced.
Then I had a toxic, abusive, AND absent father and a toxic and abusive stepmother#2.
-
-
I don’t talk to any of them anymore. Assholes.
Well your comment caught me completely off guard. I honestly had to catch my breath and not cry.
*
*
I am thriving and have done so (despite rough times and abusive ex’s) enough to raise two happy, healthy children and am now married in a healthy and non-abusive relationship. I cut my toxic family members out to save my kids from the same hell I went through. Gotta break the cycle of abuse somewhere afterall.
Then I had a toxic father and a toxic stepmother. Then they divorced.
Then I had a toxic, abusive, AND absent father and a toxic and abusive stepmother#2.
-
-
I don’t talk to any of them anymore. Assholes.
*
*
I am thriving and have done so (despite rough times and abusive ex’s) enough to raise two happy, healthy children and am now married in a healthy and non-abusive relationship. I cut my toxic family members out to save my kids from the same hell I went through. Gotta break the cycle of abuse somewhere afterall.