PurplePumpkin

purplepumpkin


I'm almost always on the internet, and when I'm not I'm either reading, writing or serving my furry master (the one pictured, I'm not THAT weird).

— PurplePumpkin Report User
Mordern problems require mordern solutions 4 comments
purplepumpkin · 1 hour ago
My Dad used to threatened it with that, until one day I did it myself and resumed to saying bad words with bubbly foam coming out of my mouth.
Tasted bad, but felt good.
I'm gonna do what's called a pro gamer move 10 comments
purplepumpkin · 1 hour ago
Well I'm far less knowledgeable than you in this area but I know a guy who has somewhat frequent seizures and a girl who faints a lot and for the both of them it's very discreet, they can feel it coming but if they're sitting on a chair or a bed someone in another room wouldn't notice. During a final I noticed the girl was drifting to unconsciousness because I was thinking about something and picked on her weird breathing pattern, I caught her before she touched the ground and none of the students or the 3 teachers watching us had noticed anything before I called for help.
My point is, the technological advancement is not automatically at fault here.
But the fellow gamer is really a hero.
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Pets 7 comments
purplepumpkin · 2 hours ago
My cat decides how long my parents are watching TV in the evening, while my mom's cat goes into the bedroom and wakes up everyone whenever she pleases, if she wants to cuddle or play with us.
But for the rest they're following our rules to a T, they get infront of their plates at 7:30 and 18:30 sharp because that's the time they're getting fed, they never break anything and if we ask them to "move your fat ass Princess, please" they do. I was the one who thought it was funny to teach her the latter, without "please" they won't even move a whisker.
2 · Edited 1 hour ago
I got into cyphers and made this. Learn something new every day. There is a coded message 6 comments
purplepumpkin · 2 hours ago
It's not exactly right tho, for the square one the dots are always aligned at the bottom right corner, whereas it shoud be ab. l c.d l .ef and for the second line the dot should be a bit higher, and at one of the top corners for the last line.
Mom's pretty but retard, dad's ugly but clever.. Me ugly and retard 4 comments
purplepumpkin · 2 hours ago
I'm convinced my older sisters took all of the good genes and the only thing left for me was the junk nobody wanted.
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Hi I'm Goku ! 2 comments
purplepumpkin · 2 hours ago
I want him to make me pure enough to be able to sit on the magical cloud.
Any HL users with leaked nudes? 2 comments
purplepumpkin · 2 hours ago
If you insist... cutt . ly / zrcMVaj (remove the spaces)
· Edited 2 hours ago
The Manul Cat (Aka Pallus's Cat). An expression for every mood 6 comments
purplepumpkin · 2 hours ago
The last one is Belle Delphine.
Rat bois 1 comments
purplepumpkin · 2 hours ago
Technically, they were victims too. Much like a bus driver who gets serial killers from one place to another and dies in the process, they were mere vectors for their fleas, those were the bitches who attacked humans (and other rats, obviously).
We got owned by Xenopsylla cheopis et Nosopsyllus fasciatus, if I recall correctly.
· Edited 2 hours ago
Death is the greatest adventure 3 comments
purplepumpkin · 2 hours ago
You should go to Mexico to kill yourself :)
1 · Edited 2 hours ago
Can't argue with that 1 comments
purplepumpkin · 2 hours ago
3 days ago I dreamt I was looking for a place to rent. In one of them, the fridge was huge and deep enough to contain a corpse. I jokingly said to the tenant "hey was your flatmate killing people or what?" to which he became very pale and whispered "I believe there are still microphones, watch your mouth".
I thought he was crazy but who cared, the rent was low, the former flatmate had moved out. Then that night I heard a rumble. "New homes always have weird noises"
But after a while, I started to think the bad guy hadn't gone away. One night I put a camera and waited outside to see what happened. Sure enough, he was living in the walls and came out at night to eat.
Then I don't remember why my sister was there, the guy kidnapped her in a car that appeared from nowhere and I ...flew behind them to help her. He finally let her out, threatened to kill me & my entire family. Instead of flying this time I stupidly ran away, he was chasing me, I woke up very uncomfortable and noted it down.
· Edited 2 hours ago
Boobs or ass? 6 comments
purplepumpkin · 2 hours ago
"To deny that he had sexual temptations implies he wasn't fully human" As an asexual, I'm happy to know I'm a god to an idiot on the internet.
One Two Two Fifty 8 comments
purplepumpkin · 2 hours ago
Hint: a meme that exists in comic form and a lot of simplified versions. If that doesn't help, think of each letter / group of letters as a panel from the comic.
Getting the same drink as my friend 2 comments
purplepumpkin · 2 hours ago
Honestly the waiter should have poisoned the first guy's drink, who tf orders "H2O"? Plus, the water we consume isn't pure H2O, there are some minerals in here as well. Pure H2O would require for the staff to specifically go out of their ways to buy some...
(And ladies and gentlemen, here we have the only worse thing than people snickering at scientific jokes, the pumpkin who explains what's wrong with them.)
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Whats your star sign 6 comments
purplepumpkin · 1 day ago
Not meeting those requirements but my money's on Earth.
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How to kawaii in Iranian 3 comments
purplepumpkin · 1 day ago
I can already see that big white bar censoring the ankles.
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Frog ride irl 7 comments
purplepumpkin · 1 day ago
My mind is going "boing-boing, boing-boing", I love this gif!
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Right in Feels 21 comments
purplepumpkin · 1 day ago
That's why I can't go at a shelter without crying like a bitch. I'd like to take them all. I still remember a cat that looked just like mine but her previous owners had cut her tail, one ear and beat her so much her tear duct was constantly leaking... Her eyes still haunt me. We couldn't take her but I hear a lovely couple did and I hope she's happy now.
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All stocked up and ready for the trick or treaters! 1 comments
purplepumpkin · 1 day ago
As a kid, I used to eat these.
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The Bible 2: Tokyo Drift 4 comments
purplepumpkin · 1 day ago
Who else uses it as a scooter?
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Poor old mule 2 comments
purplepumpkin · 1 day ago
It reminds me of two children's books from a French author, the Blue and the Red tales of the cat above the ground (there's a pun because cat above the ground also means playing tag). Anyways, he describes farm animals in a very human way and some of them like to come inside the house to play with the kids when the parents are not home.
Mmmm 12 comments
purplepumpkin · 1 day ago
Ah yes much better.
(seriously thanks for the info!)
Yeah, no thanks 6 comments
purplepumpkin · 1 day ago
And how do we know they're alone?
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Britain vs American building codes 10 comments
purplepumpkin · 1 day ago
Two houses chilling in a suburb... Five feet apart cos they're not gay.
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